Processed Lentils is a News Bulletin by Ichab Keinliebe posted to the Commerce and Communications Network in 2790. It does not impact commodity prices.
Technology specialist Ichab Keinliebe reports
Computer giants Lentil Systems finally released their much-vaunted Tum-ti-tum processor yesterday. The new chip is so powerful that it probably warrants it's advertising slogan 'You ain't seen nothing, God'. However, it's reception has been mixed; industry journalist Frinton Dibley said 'It's pathetic! This is errant propaganda; nobody needs the amount of power the Tum-ti-tum offers, unless they were running a planetary database or playing one of the ridiculously lavish games that companies in cahoots with Lentil keep on making'. In response, Lentil spokesman Jordy Buttkiss punched the air and shouted 'Power to the people!', before grinning inanely.