You wooden't believe it
| You wooden't believe it | |
|---|---|
| Type | Specific |
| Number | 151 |
| Reporter | Lefty Opus |
| Locations | Hephaestus |
| Commodities | Lumber |
| Price Modifier | 150% |
| Previous | Trillionaire blamed for flood deaths |
| Next | Zebu herds feel the bite |
You wooden't believe it is a News Bulletin by Lefty Opus. It was published to the Commerce and Communications Network in 2790 and selected by the News Dicing system for Lev Arris. The bulletin denotes a 50% increase in the price of lumber on Hephaestus.
Text
You wooden't believe it
Says Lefty Opus
Zimzam Edific, unconventional architect extraordinaire, has done it again; his latest project, building a wildlife conservation park on the planet of Hephaestus has gone drastically wrong. Zimzam wished to accurately recreate the natural conditions in which the creatures live, and so decided to work entirely with wood. As a result, a vast area of the planet has suffered from deforestation, causing widespread death among the exact species the park was intended to preserve. Imports of Lumber are urgently needed to try and limit Zimzam's depredations.