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Wing Commander CIC Mail Bag

This time Death, Hades, ChrisReid and Kris must once again battle the minions of stupidity, mistyped email address and innocence gone astray.


The CIC is *not* a television cable provider

Subj: tv people
Date: 8/14/2000 12:51:11 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Sue Kawalerski (e-mail hidden to protect the innocent)
To: kirktv@wcnews.com

Hi Kirk!
Haven't talked in a long time.

Well, if you're writing to Kirk on TV, like the "To:" line says, then that makes sense. He's a fictional character who won't be born for several hundred more years.

I'm interested in knowing more about your potential TW cable news startup in Kansas City.

Yep, none of the news that's fit to print.

'tis true?

Depends on whether it means money for us. If so, then yes.

If so, I've got a great candidate for the ND job.

Can she suck-start a Harley?

I'm sorta glad I don't get that.

Unfortunately, I think I do.

Let's talk regardless of this inquiry.

Let's not, and say we did.

You should talk to her, Death. You could end up with a super high paying job reporting news on Kansas television. Although you might have to change your name to Kirk.

If the real Kirk showed up, that could lead to many wacky adventures.

Sue [deleted to protect the stupid]

That was real nice of Death to blot out her last name. Too bad we forgot to do it at the top of the email.


Kevin wants to add a ship

From: "Kevin" (e-mail hidden to protect the innocent)
To: (hades@ace-1.com)
Sent: Friday, August 11, 2000 11:28 PM
Subject: adding a ship

i want to add a ship it's discription is it lookes like a fighter it's made for space combat

Naw, really? I thought it'd look like an outhouse.

Let the shit fly!

Woohoo, The Happy Outhouse Fighter MK1 (c)2000 Hades Aerospace!

it has to short barrels that come out by the nose it's black with arrow dinamic shapes all over it it's wepons are laser machine guns,

Right. Machine guns in space. Been there, done that... See "Space: Above And Beyond". And while you're at it, see about getting a spellchecker... sheesh.

Yes, everyone, these emails are 100% nonfiction.

I don't think we could come up with better material no matter how hard we tried. There's just no subsitute for the genuine article.

Here's the barrels and the machine gun fire. The outhouse doesn't have a nose so I put the barrels on the side instead.

I then put the (very artistic) arrow shapes all over it and made it black. It now looks cooler than ever.

I like the neon lights. If you can't beat an enemy, you can always scare him off.

laser rockets and bombs it has swept wing design it can turn completely imnvisible it can also go into hyper space

Good golly, even I had to go back to the email archive and make sure we didn't make this one up..

Appropriate, considering this guy's a space cadet. Even has a silly munchy uberfighter, too.

Hmm... that reminds me of a Concordia 2 with 400 PTC guns.

In this artist's impression I only put in the bombs...

And here's the grand finale! I put in the laser rockets and swept wing design (whatever that is). But then I made it completely invisible so you can't see the amazing finished design. Sorry.

it's also made of rader obsorbing miterial it is a multy roled fighter it also has a comparcment for carring troops and suplys it's name is the F122 flying phantom

"multy roled" [sic] apparently meaning "I'm too stupid to realize that there's no such thing as a 'one ship for all seasons' fighter.

my e-mail adress is ekornegay@... (e-mail hidden to protect the innocent)

I refuse to make a comment about his e-mail address, no matter how much this little turdlet calls for it.

Great design, Kevin! We'll get back to you. Much later.

I like Hades' design.


If you don't like something, do something about it

Subj: Mail Bag Submission
Date: 8/12/2000 3:12:58 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From: (e-mail hidden to protect the innocent)
To: news@wcnews.com, Frosty@ace-1.com, Death@wcnews.com, Byydo@ace-1.com

Hi,
It`s great to see you`re adding more WC music to the website, but with all due respect you aren`t doing it much justice by posting low quality, low bitrate, non stereo

So it's not just low bitrate and nonstereo, it's low quality?

I wonder what makes this guy think it's not his speakers at fault.

Maybe there's a fault in our speakers that makes low quality, low bitrate, non stereo crap sound good?

and worst of all - cut out and chopped mp3s. As I`ve mentioned before, I have done some quality "upgrading" of most of the music from most of the games,

First I've heard of it. Feel free to "upgrade" our WC4 mp3s and send them in.

I wonder which mp3s he is talking about, because the WC1, 2, and Priv mp3s are encoded in stereo 128kbps.

and I have them up on my Driveway account. I would like to see the music transfered to the CIC, if it`s possible.

Then send it in.

I've lost count of the number of times we've told him to send them in.

Plus, it would allow me to add more mp3s to my account.

Aww, that's the main reason? That's kinda lame. With all due respect, you aren't doing your music much justice by posting them where nobody sees them, then only trying to bring them wider exposure so you can free up your space. :(

If you`re interested, please give me a buzz,
Mad Hatter.

Well, with full confidence I can blame this one on Vinman too. It's all his fault.

That makes a change. We normally blame things on Hadrian, but in this case he isn't at fault. Then again, when we *do* blame things on Hadrian, he usually still isn't at fault..


And that's what we have for this time. The next mail bag should be out soon if we have the material to work with. We need you to write to us to keep the Mail Bag going though, so give us a buzz if you've got something on your mind. Click here to send your message in.


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