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Wing Commander CIC Mail Bag - August 10, 2002

In this edition of the Mail Bag TC, Hades, LOAF, ChrisReid, Kris, Trelane and Byydo eat tea and crumpets while saluting crazy people.

Subj: Mail Bag Submission
Date: 8/3/02 3:57:45 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Jepito@Glasgow-Ky.Com

new FTP site pass it on iso software

Dazzlers- DSL port 13 dazzle : dazzle

TC: That's just confusing. :(

ChrisReid: No, it's dazzling.

Hades: I wonder how many people will now try every IP in the 66.38.69. range to try and find it.

Subj: Contacting the CIC
Date: 8/1/02 7:36:56 PM Pacific Daylight Time
From: JenBryMichael

Hi, is there any way to get in contact with one of your Charge Hand Painters??

His name is Brian Hartnoll. The reason I want to get in contact with him is because my name is Bryan Hartnoll. And I want to find out if we're related in anyway...

TC: What exactly does a Charge Hand Painter do? The only things I can think of aren't incredibly dignified... (note: Brian Hartnoll was credited as the Charge Hand Painter for the Wing Commander movie)

ChrisReid: Holy crap, he actually did mean to send his email to Hopefully he reads the mail bag.

Hades: He's probably just one of those crazy people who emails everyone with the same surname in case they're related. God, I hate those emails.

Subj: FFA News Release
Date: 4/9/02 6:51:10 AM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Melissa M.

Holly Selected as State FFA Star Finalist and Proficiency Winner

ChrisReid: That's Future Farmers of America for all you foreigners/non-hicks out there.

Kris: I thought that was pretty dull, but then I remembered what veterinarians do...


Holly of the Webster City FFA Chapter has been selected as a State Star Finalist in Agri-Science. Holly was selected as one of four finalist from Iowa, based on her application for the Iowa FFA Degree. Holly will receive her Iowa FFA Degree at the State FFA Leadership Conference in April. Holly will interview at the conference and the interview committee will then select the State Star in Agri-Science from the four finalist. Holly's selection was based on her work as a veterinarian assistant at Stockman's Vet Clinic in Ft. Dodge, where she has worked for two years.

Holly has also been chosen as the State Winner in the Small Animal Care Proficiency. She was selected as the winner based on her work at the vet clinic as well. At the State FFA Leadership conference Holly will be awarded a plaque and $250 check for her state winning proficiency. Holly's application now advances to the National FFA Organization where it will be judged against winners from all other states.

In addition to Holly's accomplishments the Webster City FFA Chapter will have an Agricultural Marketing Team, Agriculture Communications Team and two FFA members, Abby Fiala and Tiffany Hoover, participating in the State FFA Chorus, at the State FFA Leadership Conference. The conference is being held April 11-13th at Vets Auditorium in Des Moines.

TC: I'd very much like to know who they meant to send this to... Unless they thought the Wing Commander community would be interested... which raises more questions than it answers!

LOAF: On one hand it'd be nice to make fun of this (her friends names are Fiala and Hoover, that just writes itself!)... but on the other hand she's some twelve year old who won a prize for helping animals, which is far superior to all of you internet fiends who're trying to find cartoons of Final Fantasy characters having sex with robots right now. I abstain (save for pointing out that the guy at the FFA homepage looks a lot like Cpl_Hades).

Subj: are you Kid from the group KidNPlay
Date: 3/3/02 7:08:15 AM Pacific Standard Time
From: Bridgett B.

I was just wongering if you are Kid from Kid N Play I,m a big fan of yours & I seen you when you did your comdey show in Indiana and was wondering when you were coming back because I would like to see your show again


ChrisReid:Hey Bridgett, hopefully there'll be another show in 2002.

Byydo: Most people don't know this, but I'm actually the avatar of Biggie Smalls.

TC: Are Christopher "Kid" Reid and our own Chris one and the same? You decide!

Subj: When will you be in Evansville Indiana
Date: 3/4/02 5:45:00 PM Pacific Standard Time
From: Bridgett B.

I just wanted to say thanks for replying to my email I just would like to know when & if you will back in evansville, IN. because I would really like to see your comedy show again I Know you will be at the Funnybone comedy club in St. Louis this month but I won't be able to go there. is there any way I can find out when you will be in Evansville, IN. Thanks again for answering my email.


ChrisReid: At this point I deleted the email and tried to forget about it.

Kris: That's too bad. This could have been like that episode of the Simpsons with Michael Jackson.

Hades: I bet poor Bridgett is in tears right now. :(

Subj: Broken link on your website
Date: 12/11/01 4:16:44 PM Pacific Standard Time

I noticed that your page: contains a link to:

The page at cannot currently be accessed because of the following error: Time Out.

No one likes broken links on their website so we thought you’d like to be the first to know.

TC: I'm slightly confused as to who else you'd actually tell? Are there people on the internet who gossip about broken links that you might accidentally notify?

ChrisReid: That creates quite a paradox actually. This guy must like broken links, or else he'd be out of business.

WHO ARE WE? We’re, the worlds largest FREE website monitoring service. One recent subscriber wrote the following; “You did an awesome job identifying to me that our site went down and tracking it until it came back up again”.

TC: How do you track things that are down? I mean, what exactly requires tracking... Unless someone physically steals the server, that is. If you'd track that for me, it'd be rather amazing!

LOAF: Awesome... TO THE MAX!

HOW CAN OUR SERVICE BE FREE? Our service is supported by advertisers and subscribers who purchase additional services, but our basic service is FREE.

ChrisReid: I think the basic service consists of sending junk mails to people with broken links.

WHAT DO YOU GET FOR FREE? We’ll monitor your site once every hour, 24 hours a day, seven days a week for free. You can even have multiple people notified when we detect an error. In addition, you’ll receive a website performance report every week showing uptime percentages, average connect times, helpful links to others sites and of course promotions from our advertisers. You can cancel your free subscription at any time.

ChrisReid: Wow, I can't wait to be woken up at 3:00 am so I can sit in front of my computer and do nothing until the CIC's web server is rebooted and comes back online. Where do I sign up?!

This message is not spam because we are not trying to sell you a service. We are simply advising you that a link on your website is currently broken due to the error listed above.

TC: Yes you are. You're advertising a service, which is essentially the same thing... From the Jargon File: To mass-mail unrequested identical or nearly-identical email messages, particularly those containing advertising. Especially used when the mail addresses have been culled from network traffic or databases without the consent of the recipients. Synonyms include UCE, UBE.

If you do not wish to receive any further email messages from us, please respond to this message with the word “cancel” in the subject line. You must leave the entire body of this message in your reply so we can accurately determine whom we originally notified about the broken link.

ChrisReid: I guess that means the entire body of every message must be unique or they're emailing alternate reality www.wcnews.coms

We sincerely hope that you’ll become one of InternetSeer's 850,000 satisfied subscribers.

Adam Brett
Web Site Analyst "Free Website Monitoring"

TC: Wow... web site analyst... It's slightly terrifying that you, apparently, make enough money to feed yourself.

LOAF: Says the guy who, at the time, ran the broken website in question!

Subj: [Fwd: Wing Commander Encyclopedia]
Date: 8/31/2000 11:48:51 AM Pacific Daylight Time
From: Mike Gallagher

Trelane: For some reason some guy sent this to me. Personally, I think he'd be a great addition to the staff, enjoy.

My name is Ryan Justus and I'm a fan of wing commander. I've got Wing Commander 4 and Wing Commander Prophecy, plus Wing Commander for the super Nes. I have two questions: (1) How does a person get on the staff? and (2) When is the encyclopedia goin to be ready? Thank you for your time!

TC: The encyclopedia will be ready at, coincidentally, the exact same time you become part of the CIC's staff!

LOAF: We used to say that about Kris!

Hades: Kris would be very hurt if he knew the things we used to say about him. We should tell him one day.

Subj: Mail Bag Submission
Date: 10/2/2000 12:10:10 AM Pacific Daylight Time
From: IISomaII

Hey all,
Just wanted to drop a quick line to say, I love this site! It's the most in depth complete site about the WC universe. Also I must say thanx for putting up links to ebay regarding WC items for sale, beacuse of that I was able (after years of passive searching to finally, finally find WC 1).

TC: Try ebay or any other auction site. It's really rather easy to find.

I'm glad people still appreciate the WC series even though it's not state-of-the-art eye candy anymore...

Dos dedos mis amigos

Kris: When did we start accepting mailbag entries from sane people?

ChrisReid: Sorry :(

LOAF: Dos dedos... TO THE MAX!

ChrisReid: Yay, it's always nice to end on a happy note. Keep those emails coming! The Mail Bag depends on you! Click here or email to contact us.

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