|Convention Gallery - Monday, September 4, 2006
ChrisReid: Good morning Wingnuts!
LOAF: Good morning, Charlie.
ChrisReid: It's a slow start for a sad day.
LOAF: How is it that both Hades and I are exactly the same length as a bad? I'm twice as tall as he is.
ChrisReid: Checkout time comes quick, and the morning goes fast, so it's time to pack.
LOAF: Check out the... eh.
ChrisReid: Once they kick us out of the rooms, the lobby becomes our temporary home.
LOAF: I bet you're wondering why Halman has that jacket in the summer in Atlanta. It is because he's going to take a time-train back to 1985 and be a jerk to Italian-Americans.
ChrisReid: We've got our tickets for 2007, do you?
LOAF: You know I do.
LOAF: While approaching the target, the bombadier assumes complete control of the B-17. The crew will live or die based on the decisions Frosty makes while staring into his bombsight.
ChrisReid: We couldn't take the cooler with us, so we left it for everyone else.
LOAF: By authoring the note in a false first person tone, Reid gives undue humility to the character of the cooler, something usually defined in the alternate through its artifice alone. Never the less, the unspecified first sentenence, "Free Cooler" (1), attempts to preventatively reverse this effect by offering an initial counterpoint to the work's unusual culmination. In a sense, it is this contradiction alone rather than the powerful familiar statement that most defines the intimate message of the piece.
ChrisReid: And then it was time to take the long tube to the airport.
LOAF: Look at the amazing number of burnt out lights. I guess MARTA can't figure out how to get money out of the Breeze card machines either.
ChrisReid: ace and Blonde cruised right through check in.
LOAF: The sign in back of blonde's head defies their look of casual confidence.
ChrisReid: Frosty didn't.
LOAF: The trick is to pick "unlimited extra bags" as your one personal item.
ChrisReid: Look at these amazing order robots.
LOAF: Somewhere an incompetant teenager and an illegal immigrant are softly weeping.
ChrisReid: Chips ahoy!
LOAF: blonde's eyes have stayed a really neat color, instead of turning puke green or brown like everyone elses. That happens, right? Because I'm pretty sure I used to have blue eyes.
ChrisReid: This is what I had for lunch.
LOAF: I believe that this is a "churro", which is Mexican for squirrel wrapped in octopus skin.
ChrisReid: Uh oh, time to leave. The group gets smaller and smaller.
LOAF: We've been doing Atkins, reducing are carbon-load, repping it up, etc.
ChrisReid: There goes Frosty.
LOAF: Just walking down the street.
ChrisReid: LOAF's flight is next.
LOAF: On the boats and on the planes, they're coming to America.
ChrisReid: Last shot of Hades.
LOAF: Oh no! The pilot is dead! But we're in luck, you're wearing a 737 shirt. Oh, uhm, I don't really know how to fly them... but if the wing is damaged when we crash, I can process the materials request for a replacement.
ChrisReid: And finally ace and Blonde left.
LOAF: Look at that guy in a suit. Who flies to upstate New York in a nice suit? I'm kidding, it's obviously President Van Buren.
ChrisReid: Have you heard me talk about this stuff? It's about the best drink I've ever had. It starts with Minute Maid cran-apple juice. Then it has to be served with ice, from a can and at 35,000 feet. If you don't hit each one of these requirements, it doesn't taste good, but when you do, it's fantastic.
LOAF: It also prevents urinary infections. Fantastic and doesn't cause painful diseases, it's kind of the opposite of Sprite.
ChrisReid: Here I am back in Seattle.
LOAF: Far be it from me to disagree -- I wasn't there -- but I don't think that's you.
ChrisReid: And it's time to unpack and go back to work.
LOAF: Don't store your games like that! The crunch factor will reduce their resale collectability by 39%!
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