Chris Roberts' PNR Films issued a press release today announcing that the role of Colonel Blair in the upcoming Wing Commander TV show has been decided: the legendary fighter pilot will be played by The Origin Museum's Joe Garrity. Said Roberts: "We wanted to go with an unknown instead of a teen idol this time... but I think the results will speak for themselves: Joe Garrity will be the next Freddie Prinze Junior." Pictured below: Garrity in full costume.
WingNuts everywhere can finally breathe a sigh of release -- a long-debated treaty with SpaceBattles has finally been signed. Master negotiator Bob McDob summed it up best: "In exchange for allowing Freespace and Star Wars ships to have six times as many guns Wing Commander ships will be considered invulnerable to being attacked by dogs! Additionally, all references to 'durasteel' in the WC canon will be considered to have read 'apple pie'. Let the intelligent debate begin!"
In a completely unexpected turn of events, the long-abandoned 3DO Console has claimed victory in the fierce console war. In a move that shocked the now-surrendered competition, the 3DO flew a desperate end run mission, striking the enemy fault line with highly experimental "M2" technology and toppling the three console giants. Although Sony, Microsoft and Nintendo (now "The Assembly of Consoles") could have easily struck back against the vastly inferior 3DO system they recognized that to do so would be without honor and surrendered unconditionally.
Like most Americans, we don't really care about Akkbar anymore... but it wouldn't be April Fools Day without an Akkbar themed update. And this is it.