Burford Gumba writes. There are troubled reports from the annnual CIS/Hades 'No hard feelings' Soccer match. Grudges were in evidence right from the outset, when convicted murderer 'Corkscrew' Jones kicked Special Agent Feltham firmly in the groin. As Feltham was stretchered off, Jones was shown the red card for ungentlemanly play, and has an extra three years added to his sentance for sharpening his boots with studs. The incident sparked off a mass brawl, with a further 7 CIS agents hospitalised with various injuries, while 3 convicts were shot and killed as they administered a savage beating to the referree. It is unsure whether next year's fixture will go ahead.