Best movie quote
- Thread starter Ripper
- Start date
Ahh my kind of Thread
From MASH
Hotlips O'Houlihan: This isn't a hospital! It's an insane asylum! And it's your fault!
[A gun goes off at the football game.]
Hotlips O'Houlihan: Oh my God! They've shot him!
Lieutenant Colonel Henry Braymore Blake: Hot Lips, you incredible nincompoop! It's the end of the quarter!
From North by Northwest
Roger Thornhill: The only performance that will satisfy you is when I play dead.
Phillip Vandamm: Your very next role. You'll be quite convincing, I assure you.
Eve Kendall: I'm a big girl.
Roger Thornhill: Yeah, and in all the right places, too.
From Airplane
Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.
Roger Murdock: We have clearance Clarence.
Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What's our vector Victor?
Tower voice: Tower's radio clearance, over!
Captain Oveur: That's Clarence Oveur! Oveur.
Tower voice: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: Roger, over.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Captain Oveur: Huh?
From MASH
Hotlips O'Houlihan: This isn't a hospital! It's an insane asylum! And it's your fault!
[A gun goes off at the football game.]
Hotlips O'Houlihan: Oh my God! They've shot him!
Lieutenant Colonel Henry Braymore Blake: Hot Lips, you incredible nincompoop! It's the end of the quarter!
From North by Northwest
Roger Thornhill: The only performance that will satisfy you is when I play dead.
Phillip Vandamm: Your very next role. You'll be quite convincing, I assure you.
Eve Kendall: I'm a big girl.
Roger Thornhill: Yeah, and in all the right places, too.
From Airplane
Rumack: You'd better tell the Captain we've got to land as soon as we can. This woman has to be gotten to a hospital.
Elaine Dickinson: A hospital? What is it?
Rumack: It's a big building with patients, but that's not important right now.
Roger Murdock: We have clearance Clarence.
Captain Oveur: Roger, Roger. What's our vector Victor?
Tower voice: Tower's radio clearance, over!
Captain Oveur: That's Clarence Oveur! Oveur.
Tower voice: Roger.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Tower voice: Roger, over.
Roger Murdock: Huh?
Captain Oveur: Huh?
TopGun
Vampire Ace
Airplane is the best 
Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: Yes I am serious...and don't call me Shirley.
Hanging Lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Hanging Lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times.
[Thinking to himself.]
Ted Striker: I've got to concentrate...
[his thoughts echo]
Ted Striker: concentrate... concentrate... I've got to concentrate... concentrate... concentrate... Hello?... hello... hello... Echo... echo... echo... Pinch hitting for Pedro Borbon... Manny Mota... Mota... Mota...
Johnny: Well, it's a big pretty white plane with a red stripe, curtains at the windows, wheels, and it just looks like a big Tylenol!
Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue!
Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines
Rumack: Captain, how soon can you land?
Captain Oveur: I can't tell.
Rumack: You can tell me. I'm a doctor.
Captain Oveur: No. I mean I'm just not sure.
Rumack: Well, can't you take a guess?
Captain Oveur: Well, not for another two hours.
Rumack: You can't take a guess for another two hours
Captain Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?
Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.
Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?
Joey: Wait a minute! I know you. You're Kareem Abdul-Jabar. You play basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers.
Roger Murdock: I'm sorry son, but you must have me confused with someone else. My name is Roger Murdock. I'm the co-pilot.
Joey: You are Kareem! I've seen you play. My dad's got season tickets.
Roger Murdock: I think you should go back to your seat now Joey. Right Clarence?
Captain Oveur: Nahhhhhh, he's not bothering anyone, let him stay here.
Roger Murdock: But just remember, my name is ROGER MURDOCK. I'm an airline pilot.
Joey: I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't work hard enough on defense. And he says that lots of times, you don't even run down court. And that you don't really try . . . except during the playoffs.
Roger Murdock: The hell I don't!! LISTEN KID! I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I'm out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lenier up and down the court for 48 minutes.
Ted Striker: Surely you can't be serious.
Rumack: Yes I am serious...and don't call me Shirley.
Hanging Lady: Nervous?
Ted Striker: Yes.
Hanging Lady: First time?
Ted Striker: No, I've been nervous lots of times.
[Thinking to himself.]
Ted Striker: I've got to concentrate...
[his thoughts echo]
Ted Striker: concentrate... concentrate... I've got to concentrate... concentrate... concentrate... Hello?... hello... hello... Echo... echo... echo... Pinch hitting for Pedro Borbon... Manny Mota... Mota... Mota...
Johnny: Well, it's a big pretty white plane with a red stripe, curtains at the windows, wheels, and it just looks like a big Tylenol!
Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to stop sniffing glue!
Steve McCroskey: Looks like I picked the wrong week to quit amphetamines
Rumack: Captain, how soon can you land?
Captain Oveur: I can't tell.
Rumack: You can tell me. I'm a doctor.
Captain Oveur: No. I mean I'm just not sure.
Rumack: Well, can't you take a guess?
Captain Oveur: Well, not for another two hours.
Rumack: You can't take a guess for another two hours
Captain Oveur: You ever been in a cockpit before?
Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.
Captain Oveur: You ever seen a grown man naked?
Joey: Wait a minute! I know you. You're Kareem Abdul-Jabar. You play basketball for the Los Angeles Lakers.
Roger Murdock: I'm sorry son, but you must have me confused with someone else. My name is Roger Murdock. I'm the co-pilot.
Joey: You are Kareem! I've seen you play. My dad's got season tickets.
Roger Murdock: I think you should go back to your seat now Joey. Right Clarence?
Captain Oveur: Nahhhhhh, he's not bothering anyone, let him stay here.
Roger Murdock: But just remember, my name is ROGER MURDOCK. I'm an airline pilot.
Joey: I think you're the greatest, but my dad says you don't work hard enough on defense. And he says that lots of times, you don't even run down court. And that you don't really try . . . except during the playoffs.
Roger Murdock: The hell I don't!! LISTEN KID! I've been hearing that crap ever since I was at UCLA. I'm out there busting my buns every night. Tell your old man to drag Walton and Lenier up and down the court for 48 minutes.
Mystery muppet
Spaceman
*Thunk!* Message for you, sir!
I fart in your general direction! (Hey, don't look at me like that! It's just... ripped out of its context.)
CHAAAAAAAAAAARGE! ... RUN AWAY!
"How DARE you say 'ni' to that old woman?!"
"Nininininininini!"
Aah, Monthy Python are bad-ass! Or were, I suppose... Anyway... Let's see if I can dig up something with a more serious ring to it...
"It's too bad she won't live! But then again, who does?" I hope I'm not the only one here who remembers this movie. If that didn't earn Vangelis an Oscar, I would be VERY interested in the soundtrack that did receive one.
Let's see if I remember this bit of Con Air right...
*Lynyrd Skynyrd's Sweet Home Alabama booms out of the speakers*
"Ironic, isn't it?" [Steve Buscemi's character]
"What?"
"Here we are, an airplane filled with convicts, listening to a band that died in an airplane-crash."
I fart in your general direction! (Hey, don't look at me like that! It's just... ripped out of its context.)
CHAAAAAAAAAAARGE! ... RUN AWAY!
"How DARE you say 'ni' to that old woman?!"
"Nininininininini!"
Aah, Monthy Python are bad-ass! Or were, I suppose... Anyway... Let's see if I can dig up something with a more serious ring to it...
"It's too bad she won't live! But then again, who does?" I hope I'm not the only one here who remembers this movie. If that didn't earn Vangelis an Oscar, I would be VERY interested in the soundtrack that did receive one.
Let's see if I remember this bit of Con Air right...
*Lynyrd Skynyrd's Sweet Home Alabama booms out of the speakers*
"Ironic, isn't it?" [Steve Buscemi's character]
"What?"
"Here we are, an airplane filled with convicts, listening to a band that died in an airplane-crash."
TopGun
Vampire Ace
Knights of Camelot: [singing] We're knights of the Round Table, we dance whene'er we're able. We do routines and chorus scenes with footwork impec-cable, We dine well here in Camelot, we eat ham and jam and Spam a lot. / We're knights of the Round Table, our shows are for-mi-dable. But many times we're given rhymes that are quite un-sing-able, We're opera mad in Camelot, we sing from the diaphragm a lot. / In war we're tough and able, Quite in-de-fa-ti-gable. Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Clark Gable / It's a busy life in Camelot
[solo]
Knights of Camelot: I have to push the pram a lot.
King of Swamp Castle: Look Alice...
Prince Herbert: Herbert!
King of Swamp Castle: Herbert...
God: What are you doing now?
King Arthur: Averting our eyes, oh Lord.
God: Well, don't. It's just like those miserable psalms, always so depressing.
King of Swamp Castle: This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who.
God: Every time I try to talk to someone it's "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy"...
French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
Lancelot: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
Sir Galahad: I don't think I was.
Lancelot: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Sir Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Lancelot: No, it's too perilous.
Sir Galahad: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on!
Sir Galahad: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Lancelot: No. It's unhealthy.
Sir Galahad: I bet you're gay.
Lancelot: No, I'm not.
Black Knight: Have at you!
King Arthur: You are indeed brave, sir knight, but the fight is mine.
Black Knight: Oh, had enough eh?
King Arthur: Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left!
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: Look!
Black Knight: Just a flesh wound!
Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch?
Peasant: Well she turned me into a newt!
Sir Bedevere: A newt?
Peasant: I got better.
Crowd: BURN HER ANYWAY!
King Arthur: Old woman!
Dennis: Man.
King Arthur: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
Dennis: I'm 37.
King Arthur: What?
Dennis: I'm 37. I'm not old.
King Arthur: Well I can't just call you "man".
Dennis: Well you could say "Dennis".
King Arthur: I didn't know you were called Dennis.
Dennis: Well you didn't bother to find out did you?
King Arthur: I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from behind you looked...
Dennis: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior.
King Arthur: Well I am king.
Dennis: Oh, king eh? Very nice! And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
King Arthur: I am your king!
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you!
King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Woman: Well how'd you become king then?
[Angelic music plays...]
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king!
Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!
Dennis: Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!
Dennis: Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
Dennis: Come see the violence inherit in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!
Sir Bedevere: ...and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped.
King Arthur: This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.
[The King gestures to the window.]
King of Swamp Castle: Some day, lad, all this will be yours.
Prince Herbert: What, the curtains?
King of Swamp Castle: No, not the curtains lad!!
King of Swamp Castle: When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. And that one sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, and then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that's what you're going to get, Son, the strongest castle in all of England.
Lancelot: Look, my liege!
[trumpets]
King Arthur: Camelot!
Sir Galahad: Camelot!
Lancelot: Camelot!
Patsy: It's only a model.
King Arthur: Shh!
Bridgekeeper: Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Lancelot: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Lancelot: My name is Sir Launcelot of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Lancelot: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Sir Lancelot: Blue.
Bridgekeeper: Right. Off you go.
Sir Lancelot: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
Sir Robin: That's easy!
Bridgekeeper: Stop! Who approacheth the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Robin: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Robin: Sir Robin of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Robin: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the capital of Assyria?
[pause]
Sir Robin: I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
Bridgekeeper: Stop! What... is your name?
Galahad: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Galahad: I seek the Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Galahad: Blue. No, yel... auuuuuuuugh!
Bridgekeeper: Hee hee heh. Stop! What... is your name?
King Arthur: It is 'Arthur', King of the Britons.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
King Arthur: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
King Arthur: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
Bridgekeeper: Huh? I... I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
Sir Bedevere: How do know so much about swallows?
King Arthur: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
King Arthur: On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.
[The Black Knight continues to threaten Arthur despite getting both his arms cut off]
King Arthur: What are you gonna do, bleed on me?
Roger the Shrubber: Are you saying Ni to that old woman?
King Arthur: Um, yes.
Roger the Shrubber: Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress in this period in history.
King Arthur: Did you say shrubberies?
Roger the Shrubber: Yes, shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.
Knight 1: We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni.
Knight 2: NI!
Other Knights: Shh...
Knight 1: We are now the Knights who say... "Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG! Zoom-Boing! Z'nourrwringmm!
We all Love Python right?
[solo]
Knights of Camelot: I have to push the pram a lot.
King of Swamp Castle: Look Alice...
Prince Herbert: Herbert!
King of Swamp Castle: Herbert...
God: What are you doing now?
King Arthur: Averting our eyes, oh Lord.
God: Well, don't. It's just like those miserable psalms, always so depressing.
King of Swamp Castle: This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker and argue about who killed who.
God: Every time I try to talk to someone it's "sorry this" and "forgive me that" and "I'm not worthy"...
French Soldier: I don't want to talk to you no more, you empty headed animal food trough wiper! I fart in your general direction! Your mother was a hamster and your father smelt of elderberries!
Lancelot: We were in the nick of time. You were in great peril.
Sir Galahad: I don't think I was.
Lancelot: Yes, you were. You were in terrible peril.
Sir Galahad: Look, let me go back in there and face the peril.
Lancelot: No, it's too perilous.
Sir Galahad: Look, it's my duty as a knight to sample as much peril as I can.
Lancelot: No, we've got to find the Holy Grail. Come on!
Sir Galahad: Oh, let me have just a little bit of peril?
Lancelot: No. It's unhealthy.
Sir Galahad: I bet you're gay.
Lancelot: No, I'm not.
Black Knight: Have at you!
King Arthur: You are indeed brave, sir knight, but the fight is mine.
Black Knight: Oh, had enough eh?
King Arthur: Look, you stupid bastard. You've got no arms left!
Black Knight: Yes I have.
King Arthur: Look!
Black Knight: Just a flesh wound!
Sir Bedevere: What makes you think she's a witch?
Peasant: Well she turned me into a newt!
Sir Bedevere: A newt?
Peasant: I got better.
Crowd: BURN HER ANYWAY!
King Arthur: Old woman!
Dennis: Man.
King Arthur: Man, sorry. What knight lives in that castle over there?
Dennis: I'm 37.
King Arthur: What?
Dennis: I'm 37. I'm not old.
King Arthur: Well I can't just call you "man".
Dennis: Well you could say "Dennis".
King Arthur: I didn't know you were called Dennis.
Dennis: Well you didn't bother to find out did you?
King Arthur: I did say sorry about the "old woman", but from behind you looked...
Dennis: What I object to is you automatically treat me like an inferior.
King Arthur: Well I am king.
Dennis: Oh, king eh? Very nice! And how'd you get that, eh? By exploiting the workers! By hanging on to outdated imperialist dogma which perpetuates the economic and social differences in our society.
King Arthur: I am your king!
Woman: Well I didn't vote for you!
King Arthur: You don't vote for kings.
Woman: Well how'd you become king then?
[Angelic music plays...]
King Arthur: The Lady of the Lake, her arm clad in the purest shimmering samite held aloft Excalibur from the bosom of the water, signifying by divine providence that I, Arthur, was to carry Excalibur. THAT is why I am your king!
Dennis: [interrupting] Listen, strange women lyin' in ponds distributin' swords is no basis for a system of government! Supreme executive power derives from a mandate from the masses, not from some farcical aquatic ceremony!
Dennis: Oh, but you can't expect to wield supreme executive power just because some watery tart threw a sword at you!
Dennis: Oh but if I went 'round sayin' I was Emperor, just because some moistened bint lobbed a scimitar at me, they'd put me away!
Dennis: Come see the violence inherit in the system! Help, help, I'm being repressed!
Sir Bedevere: ...and that, my liege, is how we know the Earth to be banana shaped.
King Arthur: This new learning amazes me, Sir Bedevere. Explain again how sheep's bladders may be employed to prevent earthquakes.
[The King gestures to the window.]
King of Swamp Castle: Some day, lad, all this will be yours.
Prince Herbert: What, the curtains?
King of Swamp Castle: No, not the curtains lad!!
King of Swamp Castle: When I first came here, this was all swamp. Everyone said I was daft to build a castle on a swamp, but I built in all the same, just to show them. It sank into the swamp. So I built a second one. And that one sank into the swamp. So I built a third. That burned down, fell over, and then sank into the swamp. But the fourth one stayed up. And that's what you're going to get, Son, the strongest castle in all of England.
Lancelot: Look, my liege!
[trumpets]
King Arthur: Camelot!
Sir Galahad: Camelot!
Lancelot: Camelot!
Patsy: It's only a model.
King Arthur: Shh!
Bridgekeeper: Stop! Who would cross the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Lancelot: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I am not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Lancelot: My name is Sir Launcelot of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Lancelot: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Sir Lancelot: Blue.
Bridgekeeper: Right. Off you go.
Sir Lancelot: Oh, thank you. Thank you very much.
Sir Robin: That's easy!
Bridgekeeper: Stop! Who approacheth the Bridge of Death must answer me these questions three, ere the other side he see.
Sir Robin: Ask me the questions, bridgekeeper. I'm not afraid.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your name?
Sir Robin: Sir Robin of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Sir Robin: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the capital of Assyria?
[pause]
Sir Robin: I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
Bridgekeeper: Stop! What... is your name?
Galahad: Sir Galahad of Camelot.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
Galahad: I seek the Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your favourite colour?
Galahad: Blue. No, yel... auuuuuuuugh!
Bridgekeeper: Hee hee heh. Stop! What... is your name?
King Arthur: It is 'Arthur', King of the Britons.
Bridgekeeper: What... is your quest?
King Arthur: To seek the Holy Grail.
Bridgekeeper: What... is the air-speed velocity of an unladen swallow?
King Arthur: What do you mean? An African or European swallow?
Bridgekeeper: Huh? I... I don't know that! Auuuuuuuugh!
Sir Bedevere: How do know so much about swallows?
King Arthur: Well, you have to know these things when you're a king, you know.
1st soldier with a keen interest in birds: Are you suggesting coconuts migrate?
King Arthur: On second thought, let's not go to Camelot. It is a silly place.
[The Black Knight continues to threaten Arthur despite getting both his arms cut off]
King Arthur: What are you gonna do, bleed on me?
Roger the Shrubber: Are you saying Ni to that old woman?
King Arthur: Um, yes.
Roger the Shrubber: Oh, what sad times are these when passing ruffians can say Ni at will to old ladies. There is a pestilence upon this land, nothing is sacred. Even those who arrange and design shrubberies are under considerable economic stress in this period in history.
King Arthur: Did you say shrubberies?
Roger the Shrubber: Yes, shrubberies are my trade. I am a shrubber. My name is Roger the Shrubber. I arrange, design, and sell shrubberies.
Knight 1: We are now no longer the Knights who say Ni.
Knight 2: NI!
Other Knights: Shh...
Knight 1: We are now the Knights who say... "Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-Ekki-PTANG! Zoom-Boing! Z'nourrwringmm!
We all Love Python right?
LeHah
212 Squadron - "The Old Man's Eyes And Ears"
Hale Chidduck: Do you believe in karma?
Joe Sarno: Karma's justice without the satisfaction. I don't believe in justice.
-------------
Longbaugh: Why's that such a big deal?
Interviewer: Because no one brings up sex with dead people!
Longbaugh: 'Course they don't, it's sick.
Interviewer: You brought it up!
Longbaugh: Only to say I never did it.
Interviewer: I didn't ask you that.
Longbaugh: [Smiling] You should.
Joe Sarno: Karma's justice without the satisfaction. I don't believe in justice.
-------------
Longbaugh: Why's that such a big deal?
Interviewer: Because no one brings up sex with dead people!
Longbaugh: 'Course they don't, it's sick.
Interviewer: You brought it up!
Longbaugh: Only to say I never did it.
Interviewer: I didn't ask you that.
Longbaugh: [Smiling] You should.
TopGun
Vampire Ace
T8H3X11 said:
There are 9 Versions of Powers Rangers (Mighty Morphin, Zeo, Turbo, In Space, Lost Galaxy, Lightspeed Rescue, Time Force, Wild Force and the new one is Ninja Storm)
I know this, because my little Brother is a big Power Rangers fan
Wayne's World II:
Del Preston: So there, I am, in Sri Lanka, formerly Ceylon, at about 3 o'clock in the morning, looking for one thousand brown M&Ms to fill a brandy glass, or Ozzy wouldn't go on stage that night. So, Jeff Beck pops his head 'round the door, and mentions there's a little sweets shop on the edge of town. So - we go. And - it's closed. So there's me, and Keith Moon, and David Crosby, breaking into that little sweets shop, eh. Well, instead of a guard dog, they've got this bloody great big Bengal tiger. I managed to take out the tiger with a can of mace, but the shopkeeper and his son... that's a different story altogether. I had to beat them to death with their own shoes. Nasty business, really, but sure enough I got the M&Ms, and Ozzy went on stage and did a great show.
Del Preston: Woodstock? That was quite a show, man.
Garth: You were at Woodstock?
Wayne: Excellent! What was it like?
Del Preston: It rained all morning, and then it cleared up in the afternoon. And that's it, I almost remembered something else, but it's gone.
Del Preston: Alright, ladies and gentlemen. It takes two people to run a concert: one back stage, and one out front. One man alone cannot do this. Wayne, you will run the backstage team. Milton, you are my liaison between Wayne's backstage team and Garth's front-stage team which includes myself in the booth. To the left and right of the stage are machine-gun pillboxes, M-60 Browning. Now these babies tend to heat up so shoot in 3 second bursts. In the event of capture I will personally distribute these cyanide capsules to be placed under the tongue like so.
[Places a capsule in his mouth]
Del Preston: Any questions?
Garth: Yes, I have a question. When did you turn into a nutbar?
Garth: So, did Jim Morrison give you Del Preston's exact address?
Wayne: Yeah, he said EXACTLY London, England.
Garth: Uh, Wayne, you know, I don't think you should mention that Jim Morrison thing anymore. It's just that people have started to talk, you know. They're saying things like, "Hey, there goes Garth and his friend Wayne... the psychopath."
Garth: How can you sleep like that?
Del Preston: Listen, sonny Jim. Sleeping like this will add ten years to your life. I learned it from Keith Richards when I toured with the Stones. This may be the reason why Keith cannot be killed by conventional weapons.
Wayne: Who are you?
Jim: I'm Jim Morrison.
Wayne: And who's he?
Jim: A weird naked indian.
Wayne: Here we are, at Piccadilly Circus!
Garth: Wow, what a shitty circus.
Wayne: Good call. There's no animals or clowns! What a ripoff!
Cassandra: Wait, let me show you what I got at a garage sale.
Wayne: What'cha got?
Cassandra: Isn't that great? You've heard it?
Wayne: Exqueese me? Have I seen this one before? "Frampton Comes Alive"? Everybody in the world has Frampton Comes Alive. If you lived in the suburbs you were issued it. It came in the mail with samples of "Tide".
Cassandra: Look at this old one. Gerry and the Pacemakers.
Wayne: Wow. That is old. You know, I bet those guys actually have pacemakers by now.
TopGun
Vampire Ace
Freddy Got Fingered:
Gord Brody: [playing the sausage organ] Daddy, would you like some sausage? Daddy, would you like some sausage?
Jim: Wait a minute... You're crippled.
Gord Brody: Dad...
Betty: What?
Gord Brody: Dad...
Betty: You got a problem with my legs?
Jim: No, you got a problem with your legs. It's ether that, or you're just lazy.
Gord Brody: [playing the sausage organ] Daddy, would you like some sausage? Daddy, would you like some sausage?
Jim: Wait a minute... You're crippled.
Gord Brody: Dad...
Betty: What?
Gord Brody: Dad...
Betty: You got a problem with my legs?
Jim: No, you got a problem with your legs. It's ether that, or you're just lazy.
SabreAce
Rear Admiral
We gotta get a bigger boat - Jaws
If I were fully human, I believe my response would be, "Go to hell"...*off startled glances of crewmates* If I were fully human. - Spock, at the end of STVI: The Undiscovered Country
UN Secretary General: Now, Mr. Evil...
Dr. Evil: Dr. Evil. I didn't go through 4 years of Evil Medical School to be called mister, thank you. - Austin Powers
If I were fully human, I believe my response would be, "Go to hell"...*off startled glances of crewmates* If I were fully human. - Spock, at the end of STVI: The Undiscovered Country
UN Secretary General: Now, Mr. Evil...
Dr. Evil: Dr. Evil. I didn't go through 4 years of Evil Medical School to be called mister, thank you. - Austin Powers