Starkey
Avenging Rooster
PERFECT CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and buy an ox. They multiply, and the economy grows. You sell the herd and retire, rich!
AMERICAN CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and forces the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when it dies.
FRENCH CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three.
CANADIAN CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You copy the American model. The cows die. You adopt economic protective measures to obtain three cows, like the French.
JAPANESE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they become 1/10 of the original size and produce 20 times more milk. Then you draw little cows called Cowomons and sells videogames to the rest of the world.
ITALIAN CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. One of them is your mother, and the other is your mother-in-law, maledetto!
BRITISH CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. Both are mad.
DUTCH CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. They live together, don´t like bulls and that´s fine.
GERMAN CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. They produce milk regularly, according to predetermined patterns and schedules, assuring a good profit. But you actually wanted to raise pigs.
RUSSIAN CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You count them and they are five. You recount 42 cows. You count once more and they are now 12. You stop counting and open another vodka bottle.
SWISS CAPITALISM:
You have five hundred cows, but you don´t own any of them. You charge to keep other people´s cows.
SPANISH CAPITALISM:
You are full of pride for having two cows.
PORTUGUESE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. And you complain because your herd won´t grow.
CHINESE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows and 300 people to milk them. You are proud for your low unemployment and high productivity. And you arrest anyone who disagrees.
HINDU CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You beat up anyone who touches them.
ARGENTINIAN CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You beat them up until they learn to moo in english. They die. You hand their meat over to the IMF´s year-end barbecue.
BRAZILIAN CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. One of them is stolen from you. The government creates the TTOC - Temporary Tax over the Ownership of Cows. A tax collector fines you, because although apparently you paid the TTOC correctly, you should have done that by the presumed number of cows and not by the real number. The IRS, also according to presumed data on your consumption of milk, cheese, leather shoes, said you have 200 cows and, to get rid of the fine, you bribe the tax collector giving him your last cow.
You have two cows. You sell one and buy an ox. They multiply, and the economy grows. You sell the herd and retire, rich!
AMERICAN CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You sell one and forces the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when it dies.
FRENCH CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three.
CANADIAN CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You copy the American model. The cows die. You adopt economic protective measures to obtain three cows, like the French.
JAPANESE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You redesign them so they become 1/10 of the original size and produce 20 times more milk. Then you draw little cows called Cowomons and sells videogames to the rest of the world.
ITALIAN CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. One of them is your mother, and the other is your mother-in-law, maledetto!
BRITISH CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. Both are mad.
DUTCH CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. They live together, don´t like bulls and that´s fine.
GERMAN CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. They produce milk regularly, according to predetermined patterns and schedules, assuring a good profit. But you actually wanted to raise pigs.
RUSSIAN CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You count them and they are five. You recount 42 cows. You count once more and they are now 12. You stop counting and open another vodka bottle.
SWISS CAPITALISM:
You have five hundred cows, but you don´t own any of them. You charge to keep other people´s cows.
SPANISH CAPITALISM:
You are full of pride for having two cows.
PORTUGUESE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. And you complain because your herd won´t grow.
CHINESE CAPITALISM:
You have two cows and 300 people to milk them. You are proud for your low unemployment and high productivity. And you arrest anyone who disagrees.
HINDU CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You beat up anyone who touches them.
ARGENTINIAN CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. You beat them up until they learn to moo in english. They die. You hand their meat over to the IMF´s year-end barbecue.
BRAZILIAN CAPITALISM:
You have two cows. One of them is stolen from you. The government creates the TTOC - Temporary Tax over the Ownership of Cows. A tax collector fines you, because although apparently you paid the TTOC correctly, you should have done that by the presumed number of cows and not by the real number. The IRS, also according to presumed data on your consumption of milk, cheese, leather shoes, said you have 200 cows and, to get rid of the fine, you bribe the tax collector giving him your last cow.