Pack of Black Yaks attack Zak! (February 5, 2000)

[ChrisReid]

Belinda Keel is there to offer comfort. Zak Skintight, lead singer of rock funsters The Buttock Men, was in hospital on Janus IV last night, suffering from blood poisoning. It seems that Zak, giddy on Sunflowers, managed to fall into the pen of the ferocious Hadeian Devil Yak at the Janus IV Zoo. Five metres high at the shoulder, black as midnight and covered in highly poisonous bristles, eight of these fearsome beasts savaged Zak for a good twenty minutes before the star made his escape. Hundreds of fans assaulted the Yaks in revenge, only to suffer the same fate as their idol. Blood is urgently required, although Zak appears stable (for once, eh?). How do you feel, Zak? 'It wasn't much of a larf, mate'.

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Original update published on February 5, 2000