Military Scandal! (April 1, 2000)

[Bandit LOAF]

CNN has reported on a recent shake up in the United States Navy's chain of command, following allegations that Captain Johnny is "not a real Captain." Said an anonymous source at the Judge Advocate General's office: "It's a tricky situation... if he's a real Captain, then he can be in serious trouble for pretending to be a Captain. But if he's not in the Navy, it's outside our jurisdiction..." Admiral Frederick Long refused to comment on what he termed "an ongoing investigation."

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Original update published on April 1, 2000