frostytheplebe
Seventh Part of the Seal
Thought this would give everyone a laugh... these are just some examples of the calls I got yesterday. I hate them when they are happening, but I get a good laugh at the users expense after!
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Call 1:
Analyst: Are there any lights on the device?
Caller: No, its not working...
Analyst: Is it powered on?
Caller: How do I check that?
Analyst: Hit the power button
Caller: I don't see it
Analyst: Its the one labeled POWER!
Caller: Oh... ok... HEY! Everything is working now!
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Call 2:
Caller: Your password system is really not "User Friendly"
Analyst: Well how do you suggest making it user friendly? I'll pass on any suggestions to my supervisor
Caller: Well I don't have any...
Analyst: ....
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Call 3:
Caller: The computer says press any key... which key is that?
Analyst: Just pick a key and strike it.
Caller: But thats not what the computer says.
Analyst: Trust me ma'am, it'll work.
Caller: I don't think so, can I speak to someone who knows what they're doing there?
Analyst: Suuuuuuure... *click*
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Call 4:
User: *Click*
Analyst: ok...
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Call 5:
Analyst: So let me get this straight; you disabled your firewall, turned off Macafee, and spybot, and you don't understand why your computer crashed?
Caller: They were slowing my computer down.
Analyst: Hows your computer running now?
Caller: Well its not
Analyst: Exactly!
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Call 6:
Caller: Its spelled F as in Foreplay A as in Oral B as in Bra
Analyst: ... Ok!
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Call 7:
Analyst: Ok go ahead and fill in the form.
Caller: What do I put in under the name catagory
Analyst: Your name?
Caller: Well what is it?
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Call 8:
Analyst: Ok I'll have a tech come by and replace the keyboard for you
Caller: You can't do it over the phone?
Analyst: How am I supposed to replace a keyboard for you over the phone?
Caller: Well I need it now!
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Call 9:
Analyst: Help desk,
Caller: Hi, my coworker needs his computer fixed
Analyst: Whats wrong with it?
Caller: Its just not working?
Analyst: Ma'am thats like me going into the doctors office and saying "I don't feel well." Whats wrong? "I dunno I just don't feel well."
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Call 10:
Analyst: Ok whats the IP address of the computer
Caller: I don't know
Analyst: What version of windows are you using?
Caller: I don't know
Analyst: What were you doing when it crashed?
Caller: I dont know... can you help me?
Analyst: I don't know...
Caller: Well you're a lot of help!
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Call 11:
Analyst: Help Desk
Caller: I've been waiting for 20 minutes
Analyst: So did the 30 callers ahead of you!
Caller: But my issue is top priority
Analyst: So were the 30 calls ahead of you, they all said they wanted urgent tickets
Caller: This is ridiculous
Analyst: Yeah they said that too... so what can I do for you today?
Caller: Oh forget you, I'll call back later!
Analyst: Have a nice day!
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Call 12:
Caller: I need to log in and I can't remember my username...
Analyst: When is the last time you logged in?
Caller: Ten minutes ago?
Analyst: What did you log in with then?
Caller: I don't know...
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Call 1:
Analyst: Are there any lights on the device?
Caller: No, its not working...
Analyst: Is it powered on?
Caller: How do I check that?
Analyst: Hit the power button
Caller: I don't see it
Analyst: Its the one labeled POWER!
Caller: Oh... ok... HEY! Everything is working now!
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-------------------------------------
Call 2:
Caller: Your password system is really not "User Friendly"
Analyst: Well how do you suggest making it user friendly? I'll pass on any suggestions to my supervisor
Caller: Well I don't have any...
Analyst: ....
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---------------------------
Call 3:
Caller: The computer says press any key... which key is that?
Analyst: Just pick a key and strike it.
Caller: But thats not what the computer says.
Analyst: Trust me ma'am, it'll work.
Caller: I don't think so, can I speak to someone who knows what they're doing there?
Analyst: Suuuuuuure... *click*
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Call 4:
User: *Click*
Analyst: ok...
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Call 5:
Analyst: So let me get this straight; you disabled your firewall, turned off Macafee, and spybot, and you don't understand why your computer crashed?
Caller: They were slowing my computer down.
Analyst: Hows your computer running now?
Caller: Well its not
Analyst: Exactly!
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Call 6:
Caller: Its spelled F as in Foreplay A as in Oral B as in Bra
Analyst: ... Ok!
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Call 7:
Analyst: Ok go ahead and fill in the form.
Caller: What do I put in under the name catagory
Analyst: Your name?
Caller: Well what is it?
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Call 8:
Analyst: Ok I'll have a tech come by and replace the keyboard for you
Caller: You can't do it over the phone?
Analyst: How am I supposed to replace a keyboard for you over the phone?
Caller: Well I need it now!
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Call 9:
Analyst: Help desk,
Caller: Hi, my coworker needs his computer fixed
Analyst: Whats wrong with it?
Caller: Its just not working?
Analyst: Ma'am thats like me going into the doctors office and saying "I don't feel well." Whats wrong? "I dunno I just don't feel well."
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Call 10:
Analyst: Ok whats the IP address of the computer
Caller: I don't know
Analyst: What version of windows are you using?
Caller: I don't know
Analyst: What were you doing when it crashed?
Caller: I dont know... can you help me?
Analyst: I don't know...
Caller: Well you're a lot of help!
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Call 11:
Analyst: Help Desk
Caller: I've been waiting for 20 minutes
Analyst: So did the 30 callers ahead of you!
Caller: But my issue is top priority
Analyst: So were the 30 calls ahead of you, they all said they wanted urgent tickets
Caller: This is ridiculous
Analyst: Yeah they said that too... so what can I do for you today?
Caller: Oh forget you, I'll call back later!
Analyst: Have a nice day!
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Call 12:
Caller: I need to log in and I can't remember my username...
Analyst: When is the last time you logged in?
Caller: Ten minutes ago?
Analyst: What did you log in with then?
Caller: I don't know...