The Zak is back! (May 5, 2000)

[Cpl Hades]

Impressionable groupie Andrew Bramley-Hill writes. It was the best of days and the worst of days on Crius yesterday, host to the All-System Dribbling Competition. Zak Skintight, legendary frontman of Rock superbeings The Buttock Men, regained the Spittle Crown after a three year absense due to touring and unconsciousness. Unfortunately, so many competitors entered that a huge 'pool of drool' has resulted, emitting a noisome stench. Once it has been processed there will be a considerable surplus of Fresh Water, although it will be recommended for agricultural use only. 'It's a bit of a larf, innit', said Zak when we asked him for comment.

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Original update published on May 5, 2000