First Duty

Knight

Spaceman
This story is the first of many (though I haven't wrote but one more (which will be posted whenever I get around to it)) stories about Knight, my RPG character, and his career will later expand more into the covert ops field after his duty on the Eisen, since he pretty much took part in covert ops assignment, when he was sent to the Eisen. The next story I have, takes place 2 years after this, and I'm going to fill in the time (somehow) soon, I just don't know when. Probably this summer (winter to those in the southern hemisphere) when I'm off school. (and bored out of my mind
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), so, without further adou......

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Fresh from the academy, 1st Lieutenant Jeremy Mulligan sat on a shuttle bound for his first TOD (tour of duty). According to the official press release he was reading, a new enemy just appeared. So far it had been unidentified, and did not like anyone very much. They were killing innocent civilians, Military craft, pirates, and anyone else who tried to stop them. The newest class carrier, the TCS Midway, was sent out to check on distress signals, and to see what the devil is going on, due to being the closest ship. Nevertheless, I am going to the second closest ship, so I will probably see some action in this little ordeal. So far, all other information was classified to the press, but he was going to get a full briefing on what's going on, upon his arrival aboard the TCS Eisen. He wanted to be able to prove that he was a good pilot to his new wingmen, but would rather do it with simulator scores, rather than the killboard. It seemed that everytime a war stops, another starts. Never ends, he thought to himself.

"Sir, we're preparing to jump. Please strap in."

Jeremy looked out the small window of the shuttle one last time at Earth, and Jupiter, and then sat down and strapped in for the jump that would only last a few seconds. The ship lurched, and they jumped into the unknown, for the next few seconds anyway.

Five seconds later, they were through the jump point, and alarms started blaring. Jeremy quickly unstrapped and stepped through the door into the cockpit. As he looked out the forward view, he could see the Eisen, still about 200,000 clicks away. All around it, little ships, fighters, buzzed like flies. Most of them were enemy fighters, according to the long-range radar of the shuttle. Just then, a message came over the
com:

"Shuttle 4-6-5, please hold back until our current crisis is over, repeat, please hold back!"

"Oh man," Jeremy yelled, "I've got to get to a fighter! Give me that com!"

"TCS Eisen, this is Lieutenant Jeremy Mulligan, scheduled for my first TOD, I would like to get to a fighter and help out, if possible."


"Lieutenant, this is Lieutenant Quincy Hereld. If you can make it here in one piece, any help you can give will be appreciated."

"Eisen, I'll make it."

"I'm not flying you through THAT!" said the pilot.

"Then get up and let me fly!" Yelled Jeremy.

The pilot unstrapped quickly, stepped away, and sat in the fold down jump seat as Jeremy got situated with the seat and controls. He grabbed the stick and hit the throttle, sending the shuttle to full speed. Twenty
seconds later, he was within 10,000 clicks of the battle, and the enemies started to see him. Immediately, three of them broke off from pounding on an already badly beaten Confed fighter, and started for the seemingly helpless shuttle. Jeremy dove and rolled, twisted and turned, and managed to make his way to the Eisen's landing bay with only a few scratches. He jumped out the shuttle's door, and grabbed a flight suit that a deck attendant was holding, along with a helmet. The attendant pointed him to a fighter, and
Jeremy was surprised to see it was a Vampire, a fighter a rookie like him rarely saw, let alone got the chance to fly. He jogged/ran to the fighter, struggling into the flightsuit which was a little big, but he did not mind. He climbed up the ladder, and sat down and strapped in. The sensor's in the seat caught the movement and came to life like a living animal, welcoming the new pilot with an automated greeting. The ship started its own pre-flight warm-up and was hovering off the flight deck within seconds. The cued his com and requested clearance.

"Vampire 1-6-9, requesting take off clearance." Jeremy asked/stated.

"Clearance granted 1-6-9, good luck."

"Thanks", Jeremy thought. He lined up his ship with the exit of the hanger, and hit the afterburners, dumping raw fuel into his engines, giving him a large boost in speed, with limited fuel, of course, he thought, thinking of the academy and how they'd told the whole class to conserve as much afterburner fuel as possible, incase they would ever need it. His ship shimmered slightly as it entered the vaccuum through the magnetic field. He cued his com:

"Squadron leader, this is Lieutenant Knight, I will be joining the fight. Can we leave the formalities until after our guests have left."

"Roger that Lt. This is Lieutenant Commander Tiger, Squad leader. Just pick one of those guys and pull the trigger, we need to drop as many as possible."

"Roger, attacking now." Jeremy said as he armed his guns.

He switched to full guns, making all his guns fire at once. He glanced down at his radar and saw all the purple blips on the round screen. Ejection pods, better than a coffin I guess. He switched to the nearest enemy target, to see that it was only 2000 clicks away. He manipulated the stick so that his ship faced the new target, and threw his throttle to the full setting. He was within range in 5 seconds. He fired a volley of
'hard light' from his guns, watching it strike the alien fighter slightly aft, blowing chunks of armor, and going right through its shields. Wow, he thought, this ship is powerful! He lined up and fired again, blowing the medium sized ship into little pieces. He had shot down five more enemy fighters, when an orange blip and a bunch of new red ones appeared on his radar. The orange blip ment a capital ship, a big
gun, a carrier in this case. Some groans came over his com, and a few curses at the new enemies. He charged strait at the nearest fighter, and it fired almost as many times as he did, though the bolts from his were more powerful, the alien's guns were powerful enough to rock his ship and send armor peeling off the front of it. The next bolts glanced off his shields, but by then his guns had obliterated his target.

"Knight, head for that carrier. I'm going to get the shield emitters, you send a couple of missiles at the engine, let's see if we can take'em down."

"Roger that leader, I'm headed that direction." He was a little confused as to why he was directed to do that, but when he flipped through his missle loadout, he found out why, it seems he was sitting in a "strike" loaded Vampire, not your normal kat killer.

He cycled through his targets until the carrier was locked and dialed in. Next, he cycled through the ship's components, coming to a stop on the shield emitter. It was made up of three towers, each producing a powerful force field over the ship below them. He flew around the back of the ship and laid it wait, waiting for the wingleader to destroy the shield emitters, while his light torpedoes locked on the engines. With shimmer and a shake, the carrier's shields were down; the 'Engine' text on his 'Heads-up-display' (HUD)
flashed and remained green. He flipped up the safety and mashed the button that launched both of the small, tubular projectiles towards the large engines. He hit his afterburner and spun his fighter away from
the ship, as not to see the bright flash and absorb the shockwave he knew would come. Just like that, the light flashed behind him and the shockwave shook his fighter, enough that it made his teeth chatter. He looked back over his shoulder and saw fireballs spewing from the inside of the ship. Cheers erupted over the com as the remaining enemy fighters started an evasive retreat, seeing that their back up had been destroyed. They jumped out at the same jump point Jeremy had come in on less than an hour ago.

"All ships, except routine patrols launching now, return to base, and good work."

The ships landed like school children going to lunch, single file, in a strait line. The Squadron Leader met Jeremy as he stepped down from his fighter. They saluted and the CO extended his hand in gratitude. Jeremy took it, glad to earn the respect of his new commanding officer so early on.

"Good work Lieutenant."

"Thank you sir."

"Now, you need to get yourself registered on the system, and after that, I'll show you to your bunk and then you can go to the lounge and get acquainted with everyone."

"Yes, sir!" Jeremy said, starting to relax with the present company. He knew this was going to be an interesting first duty.

=====================

Some of it's a little bit off, like the way he bosses the shuttle pilot around, and how he's kinda bossy and smartass-like with the Squad Commander, but with those exceptions, let me know what you think.

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HTML Assistant: WC Space Command
Administrator: UBW 5th Fleet
Member of the LMG and hating it (Disgruntled Man)
Striking a man down with your blade is clean and honorable. Shooting him in the back from the darkness of an alley and hurrying to blame it on another was something else altogether.--Darth Vader

[This message has been edited by Knight (edited March 18, 2000).]
 
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Hey! I remember this story. I think I still have it saved somwhere on my HD.

Anyhow, good job Knight, keep 'em coming.
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Thanks EW. I have another I am going ot post, its actually two chapters, but like I said, it takes place 2 years after this one, later into the Nep war, and intertwines with the WC Space Command's PBM (Play By Mail), so alot of it would be wierd to those who haven't read it, plus, I play two characters in it. The captain of the Nemesis (Hence, my old ID, Fireball SC, that's the cap of the Nem), and Knight, as depicted below.

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HTML Assistant: WC Space Command
Administrator: UBW 5th Fleet
Member of the LMG and hating it (Disgruntled Man)
Striking a man down with your blade is clean and honorable. Shooting him in the back from the darkness of an alley and hurrying to blame it on another was something else altogether.--Darth Vader
 
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You know, I was one of the movers for the change, but in here, this backwards stuff could be a bitch. It kicks ass in the General, but here......
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HTML Assistant: WC Space Command
Administrator: UBW 5th Fleet
Member of the LMG and hating it (Disgruntled Man)
Striking a man down with your blade is clean and honorable. Shooting him in the back from the darkness of an alley and hurrying to blame it on another was something else altogether.--Darth Vader
 
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Just backtracking to this.

<OL TYPE=1>
<LI>&gt;Nevertheless, I am going to the second closest ship, so I will probably see some action in this little ordeal.&lt; - Meep! Changing from third to first person is risky business.
<LI>&gt;It seemed that everytime a war stops, another starts.&lt; - That's why Confed even bothers to train new pilots.
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<LI>&gt;at Earth, and Jupiter,&lt; - As long as at least one of the two is just a glittering speck.
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<LI>&gt;200,000 clicks&lt; + &gt;according to the long-range radar of the shuttle.&lt; - Hmm, I thought standard radar range was closer to 35,000km. Dunno. I'm asking cause I think I have the same mistake in my story.
<LI>&gt;Twenty seconds later, he was within 10,000 clicks of the battle,&lt; - I'm afraid the shuttle would have to be traveling like 9,000kps to do that ie. cover say 180,000km in 20secs.
<LI>&gt;He jogged/ran to&lt; - Pick one.
<LI>&gt;flightsuit which was a little big, but he did not mind.&lt; - He'd mind if it were too small.
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<LI>&gt;He climbed up the ladder, and sat down and strapped in.&lt; - I suggest removing the first and.
<LI>&gt;Jeremy asked/stated.&lt; - Personally I prefer asked.
<LI>&gt;and hit the afterburners,&lt; - Somebody is going to get chewed out by the CAG.
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<LI>&gt;dumping raw fuel into his engines, giving him a large boost in speed, with limited fuel, of course, he thought, thinking of the academy and how they'd told the whole class to conserve as much afterburner fuel as possible, incase they would ever need it.&lt; - Breaking that up into two or three sentences is a necessity.
<LI>&gt;He switched to full guns, making all his guns fire at once.&lt; - *cough*
<LI>&gt;2000 clicks away.&lt; + &gt;within range in 5 seconds.&lt; - Trust me - you don't want to know.
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<LI>&gt;orange blip ment a capital ship,&lt; - Meant.
<LI>&gt;He charged strait at the nearest fighter, and it fired almost as many times as he did, though the bolts from his were more powerful, the alien's guns were powerful enough to rock his ship and send armor peeling off the front of it.&lt; - Split; probably just before though.
<LI>&gt;I'm headed that direction.&lt; - How about "in that" or "that way?"
<LI>&gt;Vampire, not your normal kat killer.&lt; - Somehow I don't think the Vampire was designed with Kilrathi in mind.
<LI>&gt;laid it wait, waiting for the wingleader&lt; - Laid in wait - and the two waits are a little awkward.
<LI>&gt;He hit his afterburner and spun his fighter away from the ship,&lt; - In that order?
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<LI>&gt;Jeremy had come in on less than an hour ago.&lt; - Hmm. Come from...followed by a comma.
<LI>&gt;The ships landed like school children going to lunch, single file, in a strait line.&lt; - Must be grammar school children, cause we usually ran out screaming our little heads off. Heh.
</OL>

Actually I didn't mind his attitude. All in all an interesting read - better than that two chapter one IMHO. The fight was detailed and yet relaxed - something I haven't seen before. So when do we find out what happens next?
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"They don't have meetings about rainbows." - 6th Sense
 
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#5, OK, so I kinda lied
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#6, Well, he was kinda in the middle, since directly after that I stated he was struggling into a flight suit. Try to run while pulling on a pair of jeans and you'll know what I mean.

#9, He was taking off anyway, that's why the stated was in there.

#10, What? I use my ABs all the time when taking off in WCIII and WCIV.

#12, Remember what I said about English class? Well guess where this came from? Copied and pasted directly into the textarea on that post.

#13, Hey, I didn't feel like pulling out my knowledge of Trig (which you could fit onto a small piece of paper) and figuring the time it would have taken, OK?
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#16, That's just my accent coming into play. The Indiana coming out of me.

#17, Then what were they thinking of killin'? If you want to say pirates and renegades, who were most of them? Kats, exactly.
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#19, yes, in that order, since he was sitting, at no speed, the ABs would have been the quickest way out while his engines got up to speed.

Thanks, I tried to be as detailed as I could, but battles aren't my strong point, but now that I think about it, what is?
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Probably find out what happens next when I run out of ideas for the other one, (I'm up to chapter 4, and in the middle of a battle, but you guys would be lost because I REALLY get wrapped up into the WCSC PBM, so you're SOL), and I need to start thinking again of ideas for this. I had a few but didn't get them typed, so I'm SOL until I think of some more.
 
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6. Actually I never have. I usually stop, slam the pants on, *wince* and then bolt.

10. Hmm. I wonder what all the grease monkeys with flaming heads have to say about that.
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12. If you're firing full guns, you are firing them all.

16. You're from Indiana? Cool.

19. Well facing the ship and burning is usually hazardous to one's health.
 
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Knight said:
#16, That's just my accent coming into play. The Indiana coming out of me.

Hey, a fellow Hoosier. Cool.



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If I'm locked on, there's no such thing as evasive action!
 
OK,

#6, Ok, he was in a hurry, give him a break
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#10, The won't say nothing
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#12, Yeah, you need to meet my English teacher
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#16, Yeah, I'm from Indiana.

#19, He was facing it, not sitting on top of it, he was say, 400-600 klicks out.

Dralthi5, I'll try and email you, sometime.....

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HTML Assistant: WC Space Command
Administrator: UBW 5th Fleet
Member of the LMG and hating it (Disgruntled Man)
Striking a man down with your blade is clean and honorable. Shooting him in the back from the darkness of an alley and hurrying to blame it on another was something else altogether.--Darth Vader
 
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Right... time to finally post comments. Didn't have time, before
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.

I'll be posting a lot about grammar/spelling errors, but don't worry. I'm not trying to be nasty, just to get the story looking better.

1. *a new enemy just appeared* - A new enemy had just appeared.
2. *So far it had been unidentified* - enemy is usually referred to as they rather than it. Because there's usually more than one of them
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.
3. *was sent out to check on distress signals* - was sent out to check on the distress signals.
4. *The ship lurched, and they jumped into the unknown, for the next few seconds anyway.* - That is a rather unwieldy sentence. Suggest total rephrasing. Possibly, remove the "for the next few seconds anyway" bit, because it makes it seem like they're only planning to stay on the other side for a few seconds.
5. *Five seconds later, they were through the jump point, and alarms started blaring.* - Uh... the bugs were one jump point away from Sol
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?
6. *and the enemies started to see him.* - Something wrong with this, though I can't quite figure out how to rephrase it. Maybe... "and the enemy fighters noticed him."?
7. *The attendant pointed him to a fighter, and Jeremy was surprised to see it was a Vampire, a fighter a rookie like him rarely saw, let alone got the chance to fly.* - Too long to use only commas. How about... "The attendant pointed him to a fighter. Jeremy was surprised to see that it was a Vampire - a fighter that a rookie like him rarely saw, let alone get the chance to fly."
8. *The sensor's* - Sensors. No apostrophe.
9. *The cued his com and requested clearance.* - This cued his comm.
10. *vaccuum* - vacuum.
11. *Lieutenant Knight* - Funny... I thought his name was Mulligan
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. Either use the callsign, or rank+last name. Don't use rank+callsign. Commodore Maverick, or Major Maniac don't sound quite right, do they
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? Well... actually, Major Maniac does tell one a lot about him
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.
12. *Can we leave the formalities until after our guests have left."* - It's a question. Use a ? instead of a .
13. *Lieutenant Commander Tiger* - Again...
14. *blowing chunks of armor, and going right through its shields* - It happens in the reverse order. First shields, then armour.
15. *strait* - Straight.
16. *missle* - Missile.
17. *He was a little confused as to why he was directed to do that, but when he flipped through his missle loadout, he found out why, it seems he was sitting in a "strike" loaded Vampire, not your normal kat killer.* - Change the first and third commas into full stops. And change "seems" to "seemed".
18. *strait* - Again; straight.

All in all, not too bad. You need to resist the urge to use commas all over the place. There are a lot of awfully long sentences in there, which could be a lot better if you used - and ; more. Your story will improve a lot if you do that.
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Storywise... well, there's not much to say at this stage. All we really saw was one short fight.
 
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Quarto: You applying for my job?
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Knight: I have a brother out in Indiana...hence the cool.
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Definitely not.
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Too much work. It's just that you missed a lot out in this one.
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Only a couple of things:

Quarto said:
5. *Five seconds later, they were through the jump point, and alarms started blaring.* - Uh... the bugs were one jump point away from Sol
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?


Ok, in WCIV, in the opening scene, Blair and Manaic are in Nephele, at least like 5-6 jumps from Sol according to the star map in WCP. They make it to Sol in one jump. Hm........ And they didn't jump in the Hellcats either, because WCIV showed it whenever you jumped, just like the rest of the games. That, and if I'm not mistaken, I think I read somewhere that Blue Pt. is in Nephele. Maybe I'm imagining things.
14. *blowing chunks of armor, and going right through its shields* - It happens in the reverse order. First shields, then armour.
I didn't say what order they happened in, so how can you say its wrong?
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Actually, I ment to emphasize that it went straight to the armor, and didn't stop at the shields, like some guns (the Pirranah's come to mind) do.

Maybe I need to actually read over these things after I write them. Might think about doing that. But not anytime soon
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HTML Assistant: WC Space Command
Administrator: UBW 5th Fleet
Member of the LMG and hating it (Disgruntled Man)
I might be right, I might be wrong, but then again, I just might not care either. Got a problem with that?--Me.
 
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