Alternate WC3 credits?

AD

Finder of things, Doer of stuff
So I was browsing through some of the WC3 IFF files and came across this stuff that I don't remember seeing before (though my memory might be failing me... I seem to recall there being a mode where odd subtitles would show during the credits sequence. I didn't pull up anything in a quick search though). This stuff is fairly similar to the alternate credits in Wing Commander 4 : https://www.wcnews.com/news/2005/06/03/bonuses-hidden-in-wing-commander-4
I've edited the text for legibility and pasted it below. (it was IFF 14 in gameflow.tre when extracted with treman). I especially like their lists of influences near the end. It's a fun glimpse into the development process.


CREDTIME

GREETINGS AND SALUTATIONS


CHRIS TODD - Seraphim

Scheherazade, the Wing Commander III (Crazy, FRtm) Gameflow System, The Chief Tech

Oh, people's minds are going to be mine.
I am a man who will grasp at all straws.
I love this program. It gives me unparalleled ability both to create and destroy.
Oh, it's too hot. Oh, it's too cold. Oh, there's a big monster eating me. Whiny little Sim-Bastards. I know dorks. I feel qualified to make that assessment.
Yes, I'd like vanilla and butterscotch, and doesn't the sheer tragedy of life depress you sometimes?

GREETS TO: My parents, Ryan, Casey; Kenji, Christa, Mary Beth, Wade, Su, Paul, Ellen, Vincent, Betty, Brad, Grey, Chad, Ed, Jeffrey, Robert (wherever you are), Francis Wrightman, Steve; Tori, Johnette, and John Woo.


FRANK ROAN - Bear
The Superb (CTtm) AI , Turret-Boy , Spaceflight Dude

OHow many times have you seen me put a sharp stick in my eye? Twice, that's it.
It's weird going out to dinner with your ex-girlfriend. It's just like it used to be, but you don't have sex.
Hey, he's a nice guy. Wow, yeah. Let's put his intestines on hot coals.
It's like lipstick, then pepper. This is the worst softdrink I've ever had.
I'm with the project; I'm just not with the craziness.

GREETS TO: Christine. Mom and Dad. Gordy and Colleen. The Luks, Todd H., Vance N. and everyone else at Dynamix. Micheal L., and friends at Sierra On-Line. Dema Z. and friends at Silicon Space. Todd P. at Atari. Marty F. at Sega. John C. at Tachyon. Martin P. at SGI. Everyone at Union College in Schenectady, NY. All my friends around the world and of course all Phis.


TONY MORONE - Instigator
That 3-D Nav Thingie, That Neato Cockpit Lens Thing, All Those Sound Things, Cockpit Doodads ,Knees and Hands

Okay, so we don't get paid much, but at least we have total creative -- oh.

GREETS TO: Lisa - sorry about the crappy hours. Tish. Mom and Dad. *Uncle Bob. Long Grain Rice. Dutch Pipers.


FRANK SAVAGE - Wombat
bermeister

Do a check on that; I'm sure she's been naked in something.
It's going to be great when full-length capes come back in style.
Piss on trading! Blow things up!
It's like Russian rockers -- they just don't get it.
This is great! I could order executions to this!
Don't sit there thinking! Make the little things go now!
Frank, can we go to lunch before I say something else?
-and-
So lemme get this straight. Tony's sitting at his desk reading the newspaper, Frank's spinning a ruler on his finger, and Chris is smoothing the Chief Tech?


JASON YENAWINE - Equality
Movie Compressor Guy , DPMI Guy , Neato Credits Guy

There's such a fine line between what we wanted and stupid.
Well, we've got plenty of -- what are those?
Awww, Daddy's tired; don't do this to me.



ADDITIONAL GREETINGS


PETE SHELUS - Nice Guy

Special Guest 3DO Star, Glass of Milk, Math Consultant to the Rich, the Famous, and Programmers

You get enough stupid in one place it becomes funny.
I don't like chunks in my liquids.
So now we're underpaid and we're using crappy mail.
1 times 2 to the thirteenth. What weird units. Well, I'm going to play with it. What if I make it...zero.
Of course not. Why would I be cool?


ADAM FOSHKO - Ad-man
The Man Who Knows Video, The Character Quentin Tarantino Wishes He Had

I'm in Allepo? I have no hashish in my loins!
Uh, I suppose you're wondering what I'm doing down here.
The slow brain penetrates the shield.


PREM KRISHNAN - Wipeout
Food Ordering Person , Gameflow Galley Slave,Goat and Body Parts

/Those wacky assassins. I always fall for that!
Look! Nap of the earth! Oh. Stuff on a rock.
There aren't enough orgasms in the workplace.
Very very cool. I think I need a mechanical pencil.
I'm sorry, but hair length is not an accurate measurement of grammatical acumen.
I'm efficient before I'm anal. I'll let things anally slide if I can do it efficiently.
My heartfelt thanks to all of you who've stood behind me through the long hours and ridiculous work schedules. Your patience and understanding is appreciated more than I can express...


MARK VEARRIER
3-D Pixel Pusher Extrordinaire

In space . . . who gives a fuck.
Drink with God. Man, can he hold his liquor.
ALAN PEREZ and Toby
Keeper of Toby , The Chief Tech's Original Look , Art Guy with the Hair



SPECIAL THANKS GO OUT TO SEAN MURPHY FOR THE LOGO



GREETINGS TO THE NOT-SO-COOL GANG


TIM RAY - Ragtop
This is like a nice day in Mordor.
You never know when you're going to need a gulag.
I don't know what it is, but it's mysterious and I don't trust it.


BEN POTTER - Styg
I've never heard bone on metal sound that good before.


JEFF SHELTON - Primate
You know, I've never once used duct tape on a duct.



KID'S TABLE
Rob 'Vampire' Irving
Jay 'Ponytail' Mahavier
Dave 'Anti-Weasel' Downing
Andie 'QB' Brannan
DAN THE QA MAN
AND THE REST OF THE TEAM


Okay, let's ship it.


TEAM SOUNDTRACK
Tori Amos ; Concrete Blonde; Nine Inch Niles ; Holzt ; Kodo Drummers ; Fabu ; Ryuichi Sakamoto; Nirvana; Machines of Loving Grace; Chick Corea; Poi Dog Pondering ; Vangelis; Sarah McLachlan; Seal; Carmina Burana; Melissa Ethridge; Arrested Development; Patty Larkin; Bunny Wailer; Dazed and Confused; Peter Gabriel; Flash Gordon; Cranberries ; Alice in Chains; John Williams; Siouxsie and the Banshees; Pat Benatar; Duran Duran; Bob Marley; Wagner; Miles Davis; Bill Evans; Indigo Girls; John Gorka; Orlando; Jimi Hendrix; STP; William Orbit


TEAM INSPIRATION
Mystery Science Theatre 3000; The X-Files; The Tick; Nietzche; Double Dave's Big Fucking Cokes; Not Money ; Not Short Hours; Doom ; X-Com; People On Fire; Two-Fisted John Woo Action; Doom II; Dilbert ; Simpsons; More Doom; Seinfeld; Net Doom; Star Trek (so sue us)


TEAM GREETS
Future Crew
renaissance
Id
Dust
Doom WAD Authors Everywhere (the good ones at least)
James Hogan


NOS FECIMUS HOC, 1994
 
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capi3101

Admiral
"This is like a nice day in Mordor". Gonna have to remember that one. I have no idea what the hell I'd ever use that line for, nor do I understand exactly what the crap it's supposed to mean, but it's pretty damn funny nonetheless...
 

Ijuin

Admiral
The rest of the paragraph containing the "nice day in Mordor" phrase makes it sound like something that seems too good to be true, to the point that one should be suspicious of a trap.
 

Dundradal

Frog Blast the Vent Core!
"This is like a nice day in Mordor". Gonna have to remember that one. I have no idea what the hell I'd ever use that line for, nor do I understand exactly what the crap it's supposed to mean, but it's pretty damn funny nonetheless...

Maybe in Arena Commander when our CIC Squadron is not doing so well on the front? :p
 

capi3101

Admiral
That's a possibility. I'm still trying to gather the funds to upgrade to a box capable of thinking about running the hangar module my own self...
 
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