You Wooden't Believe It (October 19, 1999)

[Cpl Hades]

Says Lefty Opus. Zimzam Edific, unconventional architect extraordinaire, has done it again; his latest project, building a wildlife conservation park on the planet of Hephaestus has gone drastically wrong. Zimzam wished to accurately recreate the natural conditions in which the creatures live, and so decided to work entirely with wood. As a result, a vast area of the planet has suffered from deforestation, causing widespread death among the exact species the park was intended to preserve. Imports of lumber are urgently needed to try and limit Zimzam's depredations.

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Original update published on October 19, 1999