This seems to be some kind of ritual, so...

Mad Hatter

Spaceman
COOL!!
smile.gif


How `bout this one:

A woman walks into a store and asks the checker for a gallon of chocolate ice cream.
"Sorry" sais the man "we don`t have any Chocolate"
"O.K." sais the woman "how about a quart of chocolate ice cream?"
"Sorry ma`am, we don`t have any chocolate" sais the man patiantly.
"O.K., then how about just a pint of chocolate ice cream?" asks the woman.
The checker is beginning to lose his nerves and sais: "LADY, I`ve already told you, we don`t have any chocolate!"
"What about just an ounce of chocolate ice cream?" asks the lady with no apparent sense of understanding.

"O.K. ma`am, let`s try this differently." sais the checker. "How do you spell the or in orange?"
"O R" she replys
"O.K. and how do you apell the ban in banana?" continues the man.
"B A N" she sais.
"O.K. now, how do you spell the fuck in chocolate?" he asks
"Wait a second" she sais, "there is no fuck in chocolate"
"That`s exactly what I`ve been trying to tell you ma`am!"
 
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Death's Head

Spaceman
Not the greatest but I haven't had time for jokes lately.

A young mother skeptically examined a new educational toy.

"Isn't this rather complicated for a small boy?" she asked the salesclerk.

"It's designed to adjust the tot to live in today's world, madam," the shop assistant replied.

"Any way he tries to put it together is wrong."
 

Death's Head

Spaceman
I was thinking about how much I'm going to suffer during tax season so then I went to the library to examine the new tax laws...

NEW TAX EFFECTIVE JAN.1,2000: PENIS TAX
The only thing IRS has not yet taxed is the penis.
This is due to the fact that 40% of the time it's
hanging around unemployed, 30% of the time it's hard up,
20% of the time it is pissed off and 10% of the time it's
in the hole.

It has two dependents, but they're nuts.

Effective January 1, 2000, penises will be taxed according
to size.
The brackets are as follows:
10"-12"-Luxury Tax
8"-10"-Pole Tax
5"-8"--- Privilege Tax
4"-5"--- Nuisance Tax
Males exceeding 12" must file under capital gains.
Anyone under 4" is eligible for a refund.

PLEASE DO NOT ASK FOR AN EXTENSION!

Issues still under consideration are as follows:
Are there penalties for early withdrawal?
Do multiple partners count as a corporation?
Are condoms deductible as work clothes?

Man I'm screwed!
mad.gif
 
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Death's Head

Spaceman
Reasons To Go To Work Naked
1. Your boss is always yelling, "I wanna see your ass in here by 8:00!"
2. Inventive way to finally meet that special person in Human Resources.
3. "I'd love to chip in, but I left my wallet in my pants."
4. To stop those creepy guys in Marketing from looking down your blouse.
5. You want to see if it's like the dream.
6. So that-with a little help from Muzak-you can add "Exotic Dancer" to your exaggerated resume.
7. People stop stealing your pens after they've seen where you keep them.
8. Diverts attention from the fact that you also came to work drunk.
9. Gives "bad hair day" a whole new meaning.
10. No one ever steals your chair.
 

No Regret

Spaceman
I'm convinced! From now on I'm going to school naked
smile.gif
. As a matter of fact I'm gonna become a nudist altoghter. I'm typing this while naked right now BIG GRIN

------------------
The time is near.
There are still quite a few days remaining.

I don't care for fame, power or money...
I just want to FIGHT!
-Sanosuke Sagara
 
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Mad Hatter

Spaceman
Oh great!
Now Death`s Head`s gonna have to come up with 10 reasons why not to go to work naked, so that No Regret stops telling us he`s going to be a nudist.
 

No Regret

Spaceman
It's nice feeling the wind blow...everywhere
biggrin2.gif


------------------
The time is near.
There are still quite a few days remaining.

I don't care for fame, power or money...
I just want to FIGHT!
-Sanosuke Sagara
 

Death's Head

Spaceman
Only if I have to, I'm busy putting together a web page when I'm not editing wc, sending/returning emails, laundering, schooling, working...ect. I can think of about 6 off hand though.

If he wants to be a nudist that's his buisiness. I'd rather not read about it in the paper cause they can be very graphic.

Thirdly, NR, don't ask us if you can borrow our pens. Who knows how you would go about toting it to work!
 

No Regret

Spaceman
Hey! I'm a civilised man! I'd just put it in my briefcase
smile.gif


------------------
The time is near.
There are still quite a few days remaining.

I don't care for fame, power or money...
I just want to FIGHT!
-Sanosuke Sagara
 
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Catscratch

Spaceman
I gotta' lame/good Clinton joke, but be warned,it is not the best joke. Here it goes ...

The Clinton clan is at a baseball game when Bill is asked to throw the first pitch of the game. A secret service agent walks up to the president's private booth, and whispers into the president's ear. Bill grabs Hillary, runs down to the pitcher's mound, lifts Hillary over his head, and chucks her over to the catcher, who crumples under Hillary's weight.
The S.S. agent then runs down to the president, who is waving to the cheering fans.
"Mr. President! I told you to throw the first pitch, not the First B*tch!"

Like I said, it is pretty lame.

------------------
"Ultimately its other people's reactions that make us who we are."

" Steal from the rich, and run like hell!"
 

Death's Head

Spaceman
It isn't so lame because of the truth
He wouldn't do that tough, she has too much on him. Besides, who will be left to bail him out when we kick him the hell out of dodge?
 

Catscratch

Spaceman
Good point. As for people to bail him out, there's ALWAYS Monica
eek.gif


------------------
"Ultimately its other people's reactions that make us who we are."

" Steal from the rich, and run like hell!"
 
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Death's Head

Spaceman
Bail him out, not blow him out! Geesh.

She'd probably get off though, without a hitch that is.
smile.gif
You know what they say about wolverine women don't you? They'll huff and puff and BLLOWWW your house down.

Hehe I wonder what that means.
rolleyes.gif


Although she has made enough damned money. If there were legal fees and damages. She's smarter than a professional, as she only had to do the deed what, once?

Pleasure borgs, are the way to go if you're in power. Oh wait the CIA developed that years ago...
 
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