Nice work mon!
A few years ago I was actually thinking on doing the same thing; I just never did find the time.
Since I don't know the plot I can't comment on the expressions, and neither on the way you've composed the page. But I guess I can make some comments on the style and quality of the drawings.
The upper left image is good, but you should be able to do better, her right arm looks strange due to the angels and proportions (read: upper arm is too long and seems “bended”), her left arms, upper arm is too short though. Her head might be a tad to big too, but I suppose that’s due to your style. One thing that’s really good about this image is the helm though it looks really good (too small for her head though.
The engine warm up image is great, and almost perfect.
The close up below the above image
, is ok, but the hair is terrible but since this only is a sketch I don’t think you should worry to much about that until you finish it up with ink or whatever you use.
The lower left image is good I like the way you’ve handled the shading, unfortunately the drawing does not resemble the hellcat as good as I think it should.
Now for the upper left. The hand and joystick is good no comments on that image, but the “they shall die” close-up needs some reworking the helm looks nothing like the helm from the first image, the face is also completely messed up, that’s normal though drawing helms is very tough (it looks like you were quite tired when you did this part (or at least lacked the concentration to finish it properly)). <if you redraw the helm scene when/if you clean up and finish the page I would suggest using some hard (4h) pencil to first sketch up the face and then try to place the helm from the first image on it, simply to keep the manga anatomy right, and give the helm and face seen through the glass the proper shape.
Now about the last picture, great work again, but the hellcat does simply not look as I think it should, my best advice would be to take a look at the hellcat models floating around the net, or even build the paper model posted some time ago.
On a final note I think you should rethink Puma’s design since she during this stage of the comic development looks more like a child than an experienced pilot.
Although the statement above might seem pretty harsh, it’s not like I don’t like your work, it’s just that I think you can do so much better, and hopefully create a comic a little more interesting than Byydo’s take on WCIII
Hopefully we’ll see a finished page or a whole new part of your comic/storyboard online in the not too distant future. + If you find trouble about char design then I’m sure there’s a few people around this board who’d like to help you.