Pencil Drawn WC Comic Sample Up For Comments (July 4, 2004)

ChrisReid

Super Soaker Collector / Administrator
Theunis Dijkman has sent in a frame of a potential Wing Commander comic he is working on. He would appreciate some constructive criticism and feedback to help him potentially smooth out the piece and release some more. Click on the "discuss" link below this update and tell him what you think.



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Original update published on July 4, 2004
 
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WOW! :cool: this looks very good. :D
Maybe I'd suggest adjusting the logo on the helmet to make the name easer to read but that’s it.
Can’t wait to see more. :D
 

Jason_Ryock

Vice Admiral
How come we don't see the female pilots flying without a shirt on in the Video Games? I bet they woulda sold more copies...
 

DJ Erik

Spaceman
The art is very good, wish I could do it with my story but I don't have the drawing skills. So what is the story about? Looks like good plot being devloped but since it's only one frame we don't know what reason she has to "kill them all".

All in all good work, keep it up :)
 

cff

Kilk'dymga'qith laq Ik'vikvi
For my taste it is a bit too much manga looking (char looks too childish IMHO). But yeah - it looks really nice.
Would efinitely want to see more of it.
 

NilsP

Spaceman
Nice work mon!

A few years ago I was actually thinking on doing the same thing; I just never did find the time.

Since I don't know the plot I can't comment on the expressions, and neither on the way you've composed the page. But I guess I can make some comments on the style and quality of the drawings.

The upper left image is good, but you should be able to do better, her right arm looks strange due to the angels and proportions (read: upper arm is too long and seems “bended”), her left arms, upper arm is too short though. Her head might be a tad to big too, but I suppose that’s due to your style. One thing that’s really good about this image is the helm though it looks really good (too small for her head though.

The engine warm up image is great, and almost perfect.

The close up below the above image :), is ok, but the hair is terrible but since this only is a sketch I don’t think you should worry to much about that until you finish it up with ink or whatever you use.

The lower left image is good I like the way you’ve handled the shading, unfortunately the drawing does not resemble the hellcat as good as I think it should.

Now for the upper left. The hand and joystick is good no comments on that image, but the “they shall die” close-up needs some reworking the helm looks nothing like the helm from the first image, the face is also completely messed up, that’s normal though drawing helms is very tough (it looks like you were quite tired when you did this part (or at least lacked the concentration to finish it properly)). <if you redraw the helm scene when/if you clean up and finish the page I would suggest using some hard (4h) pencil to first sketch up the face and then try to place the helm from the first image on it, simply to keep the manga anatomy right, and give the helm and face seen through the glass the proper shape.

Now about the last picture, great work again, but the hellcat does simply not look as I think it should, my best advice would be to take a look at the hellcat models floating around the net, or even build the paper model posted some time ago.

On a final note I think you should rethink Puma’s design since she during this stage of the comic development looks more like a child than an experienced pilot.

Although the statement above might seem pretty harsh, it’s not like I don’t like your work, it’s just that I think you can do so much better, and hopefully create a comic a little more interesting than Byydo’s take on WCIII

Hopefully we’ll see a finished page or a whole new part of your comic/storyboard online in the not too distant future. + If you find trouble about char design then I’m sure there’s a few people around this board who’d like to help you.
 

DJ Erik

Spaceman
NilsP said:
Now about the last picture, great work again, but the hellcat does simply not look as I think it should, my best advice would be to take a look at the hellcat models floating around the net, or even build the paper model posted some time ago.

I just noticed that too...Sorry since I don't know much about WC3(I'm a huge WC1 dork) but shouldn't the Hellcat's tailfins be pointing upwards instead of down? It looks odd for some reason. Only drawing quirk I could find though.
 

Dijkman

Spaceman
Thanks for the advice so far.
I'll will rethink a few things: like the hellcat and character design. (I'll take a look at those paper models 2)

This was basically send to the fanart section of CIC a bit to fast.
I already send a (concept) FrontCover of the comic with a far better character design, also the hellcat on that one is better (but not yet great)
And it is in color (it aint very skillfully done, but still its a start)

Thanks for the advice/points (of potential) change so far.
Have a plot/characters and some scetches done but it still will be a big job.
I'll see how far I'll get with this, it is my first serious attempt for a large comic.

T.Dijkman.
 

NilsP

Spaceman
KrisV said:
You can't be serious. Heart of the T is the greatest Wing Commander fan project ever created.

No no no! Wing Commander Marines is the greatest fan project ever created, that bloodfang dude and his so-called team was hilarious. (for those who started visiting wcnews too late to know about it, just visit the mail bag section and you'll surely find some "info" on the mod project)
 
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DJ Erik

Spaceman
Smoothie said:
tailfins be pointing upwards?!? what have U been smoking!

I think it looks great Dijkman

Like I said, I don't know much about WC other then WC1 and the SMs(Even though I wish I could play more of them :( ), I could of sworn that the Hellcat fins pointed upwards, my bad though.
 

Dijkman

Spaceman
Can't host it. I'll see if I can get a friend to host it for me ;)
If not bad luck, I suppose, don't have own internet space and stuff (rely on friends)
 

psych

Destroyer of assclowns
NilsP said:
No no no! Wing Commander Marines is the greatest fan project ever created, that bloodfang dude and his so-called team was hilarious. (for those who started visiting wcnews too late to know about it, just visit the mail bag section and you'll surely find some "info" on the mod project)

Nah, I think the Fleet Action homeworld mod is the most highly respected. I mean, they are right on schedule, close to completion, and their project leader just exubes an aura of respect, common sense, drive, and tenacity. :D

Then don't forget the Ranger's Glory mod. It's so badass and almost done that its own project leader is already thinking of a Ranger's Glory 2 mod before he starts working with 1 :cool:
 

LeHah

212 Squadron - "The Old Man's Eyes And Ears"
paperclip.jpg
 

psych

Destroyer of assclowns
Lehah, I'm not going to turn this news discussion into a flame fest so I have no intentions of continuing this after this last post. But I have nothing to gain or lose from you liking or not liking me.
 

DJ Erik

Spaceman
Dijkman said:
Can't host it. I'll see if I can get a friend to host it for me ;)
If not bad luck, I suppose, don't have own internet space and stuff (rely on friends)

How much space would you need? If you were interested I have about 19 megabits of free space on my website account, even though it's a angelfire site...Better then nothing, eh? :cool:
 
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