New ship

Iceblade

Admiral
-Slawter

This story sounds very possible to happen in the future of WC.

-Tolwyn

Yes, exactly I agree that it does have to coorespond with the WC universe, but there are bond to be some changes about 60 years into the future.
 

psych

Destroyer of assclowns
Slawter said:
This mean that if i come with a idea, and i don't want it to fill any gaps, but to expand the timeline, i am a idiot and you have the right to insult me?OH, now i know.
You'll be the proud creator of a new, innovative, and idealistic science fiction concept. It just won't be Wing Commander. :confused:
 

Slawter

Spaceman
Iceblade - Thanks for the help.

Psych - I never said it was new, innovative or idealistic. And could you please wait until i finish before you begin insulting(i have no problem with receiving negative reviews, but insulting is a different thing).
 

Tolwyn

Vice Admiral
Iceblade Yes said:
that is it... there are 60 years. But: don't you think it is senseless to write something in a universe that will be possibly continued. You have to understand that hard core Wing Commander fans will not accept something like this making the whole project unfortunetely futile :(
 

psych

Destroyer of assclowns
Iceblade said:
Okay Psych, what do you see as being wrong with this story that makes it not WC?
I wouldn't know, I'm just some "little brat". You, on the other hand, are old and wise from your entire 15 years of existance and your recent introduction of going through puberty. Figure it out for yourself.
 

Iceblade

Admiral
Well, let's just see how the story progresses.

I don't think I am smarter than you, it is just I don't go around calling everything 'ass'. Frankly I find that just immature.
 

psych

Destroyer of assclowns
Whatever floats your boat.

But if you are on mine, sarcasm and cynicism is on tap, and I got plenty of kegs...
 

Slawter

Spaceman
--Messiah Station, over Earth, 2740.001, 1003--

Suddenly, a Marine platoon entered.

Rodham: Fleet Admiral Jediah Tardus, you are hereby under arrest by treason.

Edward: It wasn't very wise to make your dirty stuff at the Eisen.

The marines remove Tardus of the room.

Rodham: Ed, pick this badges. Your promotion to Vice-Admiral was already approved. And you are the new Security Sub-Commander.

Edward: Thanks, sir.

General Rodham leaves the room.

Ardun: Now, let me begin. Five years ago we signed the Decree 45, that declared that any captured ships should be incorporated into active reserves or as line ships, instead of being scrapped for resources. Now, it's the time of voting for renoving it. My vote is against renewing.

Kelim - Me too

Baik - Me too

Baker - I am against renewing.

Croft - I'm, too

Sowards - Don't renew it.

Almada was worried. If Edwards voted No, he couldn't do anything, and the mercenary bastards would win again.

Edwards - Renew it.

Almada - I veto the cancelling, based on the better interests of Confederation. It's renewed! Everyone is dismissed.

--Messiah Station, over Earth, 2740.001, 2300--

Vice-Admiral Edward Stephens and General Tanya Rodham were at a isolated part of the station.

Edward: Ma'am, i got some concerns about the members of the Staff.

Tanya: Yes, Ed. I also was concerned about them. That's why i called you here. I need you to investigate any suspect activities. You did a really nice job with Tardus, but we must get the others.

Edward: Aye, Ma'am. And i was planning something to retrieve the carriers.

Tanya: They are selling also three hundred of the new Titan fighters. But tell me your plan.

Edward explained her the plan.

Tanya: You have my authorization. Dismissed. Here are the flight plans of the Blair, the Casey, and the Devereaux, plus the transport's route.

--TCS Eisen, Draga System, Trk'Pahn sector, 2740.005, 1600--

It took some time to Edward to assemble the men he needed for the operation. He commanded 60 ships, with more than 100.000 Marines and 10.000 pilots, not counting crewmembers. He had many loyal persons, but he needed extremely loyal people. He called 8.000(including the 4.000 from the Eisen) Marines, 5.000 crewmembers and 320 Eisen pilots, giving a leave to the other crewmembers of the ship.

Edward: I called you to here because we have a important mission. Everyone know that the Admiralty Staff is trying to sell three Eisen-class Hypercarriers and three hundred Titan Fighters to MegaCorp. We need to stop them. If we don't, those mercenary bastards at the staff will weaken us a lot, and we will be easy prey to anyone. Anyone wants to give up?

No one leaved the room.

Edward: Ok, so, let's continue.

Edward loaded the attack data in briefing map.

Edward: In five days, the ships and the fighter transport will jump at Wolf 359 system, escorted by two corvettes and one cruiser. My plan is to leech the escorts and capture the convoy. But we can't do that with Confederate ships. So, we will need to use Pirate ships. I got two special Destroyers, that can fire Leech missiles, and have leech gun towers. Normal pirate stuff. They will jump, together with cloaked fighters, 20 klicks away from the convoy, and ten minutes before they arrive. Then, the fighters must uncloak and fire their missiles at the ships. When they are disabled, the transports will go. The marines will board the ships and easily capture them, as they have a minimum crew. When they're done, the crew of the ships will arrive and get the ships out of system. When it's done, move them to Eddings system, through Charybdis. I will need 1.500 persons to crew the destroyers and 500 persons to crew the transport, plus 1.000 per skeletally-crewed Eisen. Brigadier Masaki is the commander of the fighter group, and the Marine commander will be Steiner.

Masaki: Vice-Admiral, what fighters we will be flying?

Edwards: You will be flying Dragon light strike fighters. You are dismissed. Go to your assigned ships for this operation and await the order to begin.
 

Iceblade

Admiral
One word: PROOFREAD. That had a fair no. of errors.

UUUHHHH, isn't that a bit too, concidental to have 3 transports with the names of Confed's 3 greatest heros together.

Lastily, this story could use some spicing up, because it doesn't flow or really hold one's interest.

Just a few comments. ;)
 

t.c.cgi

Vice Admiral
I agree with Psych. This might make a good "something else," but it isn't Wing Commander. If you want to improve, here are a few things: get someone who is more proficient in English to proof-read, don't use exessively bogus or barebone plots, and do try to consult some of the WC background materials. We have maps... no need to invent systems, or steal them from Star Trek! Also, what you have done is excessively confusing. There is no explaination, and the dialog is spotty and too fast. I mean it goes from a meeting about God-knows-what to an arrest to a vote to do something confusing with a ship. Were you on CRACK when you wrote this???

As it is right now, it just seems like some kid trying to make his own concoction, and slapping the WC name on it, as Psych said. If you're going to do it without paying respect to those who MADE the real-deal, than don't associate it.
 

Iceblade

Admiral
Slawter, I agree with t.c.cgi on this, the plot was not very well done and there isn't a system called Charybdis near Eddings system and there isn't a Trk'Pahn sector.
 

TC

SubCrid
Iceblade said:
WC will be over by the time the timeline of the current WC projects get anywhere near this point in the WC timeline.

I must, of course, point out that Privateer 2 takes place nearly 50 years after this story does...
 

WildWeasel

Spaceman
If I went by some of the logic demonstrated in this thread, I'd almost have to conclude that The Darkening isn't Wing Commander, then. Fortunately, I don't subscribe to that.
 

Slawter

Spaceman
Some things:
1.Actually, according with the Universe maps of WCNEWS.com, there is a Trk'Pahn sector. Actually, one of it's systems is mentioned at fleet action(Draga system).
2. Wolf 359 system also exists in WC universe, again according with the Universe Maps.
3. This is not suposed even to be the real story.
4. I don't have access to no one with good english skills, except by my english teacher, that don't understand anything about Wing Commander or Sci-fi.

Now, about the ships: Actually, they aren't transports. They are the three Eisen-class carriers. I selected those nabes because of:
1 - Lack of ideas for names
2 - Actually, they are something more than historical heroes. Normally people tends to think a lot in present and/or recent past.

Now, i ask you to give some feedback, and not insults.
 

psych

Destroyer of assclowns
New WC Fanfic!!!!!!!

Hey guys, I got a new fanfic. :D I call it "Wing Commander: The Training".

*begin story*

Wing Commander: The Training

He's exhausted. His muscles ache beyond belief and his body is chilled to the bone. His heart is pumping a mile a minute after having just maneuvered through an obstacle course that would challenge the most agile men.

He knew it wouldn't be easy, having read articles about "the quiet professionals," and listened to stories about "the toughest military training in the world" from guys who had gone through the training before him. He tells himself he can make it, over and over again. This Sailor wants to be a U.S. Navy SEAL.

He and a select group of Sailors are going through this arduous training at the Naval Special Warfare Center (NSWC), Coronado, Calif. Currently, requirements are being revamped and instructions revised so that the graduates of Basic Underwater Demolition School/SEAL (BUD/S) are even more prepared to take on the ever-changing responsibilities of a SEAL operation.

Changes include incorporating more operationally specific evolutions earlier in the learning process. And while some Sailors "can" and some Sailors "can't," NSWC is making efforts to keep the number of the "can dos" to a maximum.

Recent changes at BUD/S are aimed at producing graduates who have an enhanced repertoire of SEAL skills, ready for use upon arrival at an operational SEAL team. The centerpiece of all the changes is an intense effort to "operationalize" BUD/S training. In essence, the training center has done away with some outdated methods and introduced more basic training found currently at the SEAL team level.

"You have to want the program. And mentally, never give yourself the option to quit," said Master Chief Information Systems Technician Dennis Wilbanks, head SEAL recruiter who, with more than 25 years in the SPECWAR community, has seen hundreds of Sailors come and go through BUD/S.

The 25-week curriculum at BUD/S is divided into three phases that test the Sailors' spirit and stamina. The first eight-week phase is known as the physical conditioning phase, and places a strong emphasis on running, swimming, navigating the obstacle course and basic water and lifesaving skills.

This phase pushes the body to its physical and mental limits. Trained medical technicians and instructors are with the students at every step.

Having endured the complexity of First Phase, trainees move onto their next big obstacle - diving. Second Phase is seven weeks in length and emphasizes the skills required to be a Naval Special Warfare combat swimmer.

"While it is imperative the student meets the standards set before him," said Intelligence Specialist 2nd Class Matthew Peterson, second phase instructor. "We look for the individual who possesses the ability to perform safely and effectively under stressful conditions.

Finally, the 10-week long Third Phase is the last hurdle these Sailors face before graduation. This land warfare phase turns Sailors into hard core, cutting edge naval commandos.

"Third Phase is comparable to First Phase in that you are often cold, miserable and tired," said Aircrew Survival Equipmentman 2nd Class Louis G. Fernbough, Third Phase instructor. "The difference is, we now expect you to think and perform mentally under the same conditions. Mistakes made when working with explosives only happen once."

While all three phases have their individual objectives, they all share common physical evolutions including running, swimming and the obstacle courses. Required passing times become more challenging as the training progresses, though.

First Phase includes some of the most significant training revisions, where the most dreaded week of BUD/S, Hell Week (featuring 120 hours of continuous training on less than four hours of sleep), has been moved from the fifth week of First Phase to the third week. The shift allowed the addition of a maritime operations course, as well as basic patrolling and weapons handling courses.

"All instruction (as opposed to just physical training) takes place after Hell Week," said LTJG Joe Burns, First Phase officer-in-charge and former enlisted SEAL. "The majority of students who complete Hell Week are going to graduate," said Burns.

This schedule shift also means that drown-proofing and underwater knot tying will now be held after Hell Week. The techniques and skills that are taught in these areas are a crucial element in being both comfortable and proficient in underwater evolutions. This change is expected to be a confidence-booster, since it allows the students to practice their knot-tying skills before they are actually tested. Especially when the test is being able to tie a knot at a 50-foot depth.

Second Phase has undergone a few key changes. The number of training dives, both day and night, has significantly increased and the complexity of the dives is more challenging to the students with multiple legs and more realistic targets. This requires students to navigate and change directions underwater several times, rather than just once.

Furthermore, the pool competency evolution, perhaps the most difficult evolution at BUD/S, next to Hell Week, has been modified to better support those students who demonstrate basic skills underwater.

As CAPT Ed Bowen, commanding officer of the NSWC points out, "I am seeking the man who has the basic aptitude, attitude and motivation to be a SEAL. If a young man can remain calm while great stress is induced underwater, I will not drop him from training for a miniscule technical glitch."

More changes have been implemented as students move into the final phase of BUD/S training. Emphasis in Third Phase is placed on small unit tactics, patrolling, weapons training and demolition, giving students a feel for what to expect once they have earned their special warfare pin and been deemed a SEAL.

Attention is placed now, more then ever, on the basic SEAL combat skills required of effective SEAL platoon operators. One goal of the revisions is to qualify all students on the M-4 rifle as Marksman. Since the changes have been in effect, all students have qualified as Marksman and most (60 percent) as Expert.
Students also spend increased training hours on special reconnaissance, a key SEAL mission area. Less emphasis is now placed on the old Underwater Demolition Team reconnaissance and demolition techniques. Core SEAL mission profiles are now highlighted, including increased rehearsals with Immediate Action Drills (IADs), Over-The-Beach (OTB) scenarios and ambush techniques.

"Ultimately, we are seeking a candidate that we can entrust with the life of a fellow Frogman," said Peterson.

The final change in Third Phase is a new live-fire Field Training Exercise, which provides the most realistic scenario possible without entering a real-world combat situation.

The physical, emotional and mental challenges young men must endure to become a member of America's most elite maritime special operations force aren't getting any easier. But officials at the Naval Special Warfare Center hope that recent changes made at the basic schoolhouse will ultimately result in more skilled operators arriving at the SEAL teams.

Overall response from both the instructors and trainees has been extremely positive and only time will tell if the changes accomplish both goals: to improve the skills and abilities of a BUD/S graduate while graduating more trainees.

*end story*

So, what makes this news article a part of the Wing Commander fan community? The title, of course! :rolleyes:
 

Iceblade

Admiral
Well, this training may still exist 6-hundred years from now, because there will still be ocean areas that need special ops teams. Although on Earth, there won't much need for martime special ops teams. This training could also be apart of certain marine training for sabotaging enemy strongholds based on water worlds.
 

t.c.cgi

Vice Admiral
Slawter said:
Some things:
1.Actually, according with the Universe maps of WCNEWS.com, there is a Trk'Pahn sector. Actually, one of it's systems is mentioned at fleet action(Draga system).
2. Wolf 359 system also exists in WC universe, again according with the Universe Maps.
My mistake then.

3. This is not suposed even to be the real story.
If THIS isn't the story, than what IS?

4. I don't have access to no one with good english skills, except by my english teacher, that don't understand anything about Wing Commander or Sci-fi.
Well that is going to be a BIG problem if you don't intend to either become more fluent or do it in your natural language.
 

Slawter

Spaceman
Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
3. This is not suposed even to be the real story.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

If THIS isn't the story, than what IS?
-A mere prologue.

Quote:
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
4. I don't have access to no one with good english skills, except by my english teacher, that don't understand anything about Wing Commander or Sci-fi.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Well that is going to be a BIG problem if you don't intend to either become more fluent or do it in your natural language.
-I want to become more fluent. If you pay the courses...
 

Iceblade

Admiral
Slawter, here is the proofread version of the story.
--Messiah Station, over Earth, 2740.001, 1003--

Suddenly, a Marine platoon entered.

Rodham: Fleet Admiral Jediah Tardus, you are hereby under arrest for treason.

Edward: It wasn't very wise to put your dirty stuff at the Eisen.

The marines removed Tardus of the room.

Rodham: Ed, pick these badges. Your promotion to Vice-Admiral was already approved, and you are now the new Security Sub-Commander.

Edward: Thank you, sir.

General Rodham left the room.

Ardun: Now, let me begin. Five years ago we signed Decree 45, which declared that any captured ships should be incorporated into active reserves or as line ships, instead of being scrapped for resources. Now, it's time for voting on renewing it. My vote is against.

Kelim – I agree.

Baik - Me too.

Baker - I am against renewing, also.

Croft – I’m against.

Sowards - Don't renew it.

Almada was worried. If Edwards voted no, then he couldn't do anything, and the mercenary bastards would win again.

Edwards - Renew it.

Almada - I veto the canceling, based on the better interests of Confederation. It's renewed! Everyone is dismissed.

--Messiah Station, over Earth, 2740.001, 2300--

Vice-Admiral Edward Stephens and General Tanya Rodham were at an isolated part of the station.

Edward: Ma'am, I have some concerns about the members of the Staff.

Tanya: Yes, Ed. I am also concerned about them. That is why I called you here; I need you to investigate any suspect activities. You did a really nice job with Tardus, but we will need others.

Edward: Aye ma'am, but I was already planning something to retrieve the carriers.

Tanya: They are also selling three hundred of the new Titan fighters, but tell me your plan.

Edward explained her plan.

Tanya: You have my authorization. Dismissed. Here are the flight plans of the Eisen Carriers Blair, Casey, and Devereaux; plus the transport's route.

--TCS Eisen, Draga System, Trk'Pahn sector, 2740.005, 1600--

It took some time for Edward to assemble the men he needed for the operation. He commanded 60 vessels with more than 100,000 Marines and 10,000 pilots; not counting crewmembers. He had many who were to him, but he needed people who were extremely trustworthy. He had 8,000 Marines (including the 4,000 from the Eisen); 5,000 crewmembers; and 320 Eisen pilots, giving leave to the other crewmembers of the ship.

Edward: I called you here because we have a very important mission. Everyone knows that the Admiralty Staff is trying to sell the three Eisen-class Hypercarriers and three hundred Titan Fighters to MegaCorp. We need to stop them! If we don't, then those mercenary bastards at the staff will weaken us, and we will be easy prey to anyone. Anyone who wants to give up can leave?

No one left the room.

Edward: Ok. So, let's continue.

Edward loaded the attack data in briefing map.

Edward: In five days, the Carriers and the fighter transport will jump at Wolf 359 system, escorted by two corvettes and one cruiser. My plan is to leech the escorts and capture the convoy, but we can't do that with Confederate ships. So, we will need to use Pirate ships. I have two special Destroyers that can fire Leech missiles, and they have leech gun towers—normal pirate stuff. They will jump together with cloaked fighters, 20 clicks away from the convoy ten minutes before they arrive. Then the fighters will uncloak and fire their missiles at the ships. When they are disabled the transports will leave. The marines will board the ships and should easily capture them as they only have a minimum crew. When they're done the crew of the ships will arrive and get the ships out-system. When it's done move them to Eddings system through Charybdis. I will need 1,500 people to crew the Destroyers and 500 people to crew the transport. Plus I will need 1,000 crewmembers for a skeletally-crew for the Eisen. Brigadier Masaki is the commander of the fighter group and the Marine commander will be Steiner.

Masaki: Vice-Admiral, what fighters will we be flying?

Edwards: You will be flying Dragon light strike fighters. Everyone is dismissed. You will go to your assigned ships for this operation and await the order to launch.
 
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