Casper's first poll II

How much have you read and what do you think of my novel?

  • Finished

    Votes: 1 16.7%
  • In the middle

    Votes: 0 0.0%
  • Just began

    Votes: 1 16.7%
  • Haven't started

    Votes: 2 33.3%
  • Like it

    Votes: 1 16.7%
  • Dislike it

    Votes: 1 16.7%
  • No preference

    Votes: 1 16.7%

  • Total voters
    6
  • Poll closed .
I've got to go back and read the changes you may have made from my first read through, but the Sivar weapon thing seemed to come out of nowhere. The "lightsaber" duel was a bit too much as was the need to completely undress Elise, plus "it wasn't the last time Elise saw either of them [Trent and Elias]" :)

C-ya
 
Counting the stuff Viper said, each one of your "chapters" struggles to be a mere three pages, compared to a normal Wing Commander Aces chapter that normally runs around 7-8, sometimes as much as 10 (And in my 7 years with them, not once have I heard any of them ask to get paid $ for compensation either :( ). So basically, give or take, your have 36 pages for your 12 chapters, plus a few more which peaks around 40. Which is about 5 contemporary chapters for somewhere else, but you stretched it out to 12 chapters so you can say how much work you've put into it and how "many" chapters you have done successfully.

But for that Elise undressing part, I found some great Debbie Does Dallas mp3s on Kazaa, I'll be happy to upload it to my server if you want to attach them as listening music while reading.
 
i changed the "last time" line - thanks for seeing that

the sivar was mentioned in the chapter 4 mission briefing, and it just took that long for the bad guys to get it working on mistral sea

psych, you must not have read the whole thing, since each chapter has 3 web pages - try using the arrows when you get to the end of a page - if you cut and paste all the text in Word, it comes out to around 150 pages

i regret the money post now - please accept my apologies
 
I see. That's clearer then. However, there seems to be more dialogue then writing. So it seems like sort of some type of movie script rather then fan fiction.
 
to me, dialogue makes for a faster plot - I just finished Dune by Frank Herbert (a must-read, by the way), and while it's awesome, it moves too slow for my taste

I think a Wing Commander story should have lots of shoot-em-up action, a bit of romance and mystery mixed in, and not much description of the surrounding world since everyone interprets it differently

I guess it would make for a pretty good movie, too...

P.S. - I left this off the thread starter, but be sure to vote on how much of the story you've read - that goes for everyone
 
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