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Thanks again to all readers and to Mystery Muppet for commenting. P.S. For those that don't know, 'Vikyah' means 'McAullife' and 'Churnah' means 'feeble minded'. Chapter 22: Prey Z’ratmak’s perspective “Attention marines, Oasis station reports a large Retro incursion. At least 60...

One of the tanks seemed to land a hit on the fighter’s engines. The enemy ship slowed at first, then began to descend. The bow of the craft tilted towards the sky, suggesting that the pilot was attempting to pull up. Fire from the tanks ceased, they seemed content that the creature was...

Thanks again to all commenters and readers. Chapter 21: Siege Razor’s perspective From outside, Oasis station looked as if it may very well have been abandoned many years ago. In the murky sunlight which was largely hidden behind the ghastly orange clouds, the typically shiny dura-steel...

Right, sorry its taken me a while to review. This story definately seems to be getting better. Bringing in a Mari-ad protagonist is a nice touch, and your description and characters seem more realistic imho. My only quibble is still some tense confusion in some places. Anyway, i look...

It was getting harder and harder to keep my panic at bay. Part of me wanted to end it here; it was all I could hope for. Another part of me, quite simply, didn’t want to die; and there wasn’t much I could do about that. Through the fear, something on the display caught my eye. There was an...

Right, thanks again to all readers and commenters and sorry for the wait. I’ve only recently found myself back before a computer in this university place. P.S. The Hermes is indeed a Concordia class fleet carrier. I can’t remember if I mentioned that or not. Ah well, cheers Marc for answering...

The Sorthak was a lot faster and a hell of a lot more manoeuvrable then it rightfully should have been considering its size. Its pilot however didn’t seem to take full advantage of this. I guess he didn’t see me as a threat. I managed to position myself behind him. Only to be greeted by a second...

Thanks again to all commenters and reading persons. It will probably be a while before my next update. I’m heading off to university soon and I probably won’t have as much time to write as I do now. Chapter 19: Goliath, part 4 Scar’s perspective This was it. The moment of truth, for...

I found this winged beast yesterday perched on top of my neighbours' garden shed. Does anyone know what kind of bird it is?

That was pretty good. I'm curious as to what sinisterness the Mari-ad have planned. Minor criticisms, there was some tense confusion in some places, and to be hounest, the battle scene i thought could have benefited from some description in places where you just have dialogue, it made the scene...

I started rolling, firing as I did so. Ridiculous though it looked it allowed me to evade some of his gunfire, sort of. Some of the shots that were aimed at my forward shields I managed to divert into my dorsal and ventral shields instead. He seemed to be targeting my forward shields most of...

Thanks again to all readers. Chapter 18: Goliath part 3 Salamander’s perspective The first of the Paktahn ripped apart under the constant lashing of my cannons. The other three continued on their way as if nothing had happened. They seemed determined to get to the Hermes and her escort...

The story seems to be shaping out alright, you've outlined the setting and the characters, to be hounest i'm not sure if your switch to the present tense works though. Its rarely a good idea to alternate between one tense to the other between chapters. Another peice of CC is that, in my...

Looks pretty good so far. I never really considered 'Confed the early days' or at least 'Confed the pre-kilrathi, pre-pilgram days', it'll be interesting to see where you go with this story. My only criticism is your description of the 'deaths' in teh simulaor. They seemed a bit rushed to me...

“It would make sense.” I replied. He opened his mouth to say something else, then closed it and looked at the table. For a moment we just sat quietly. “I can’t take this.” He said after a moment, “Listen to me, I sound like a fucking cadet. I…” He trailed off and pushed out another long...