|TO: Lt. Jean
FROM: Lt. Lance Casey
I know you're mad about…
Anyway, you know what you're mad about.
I was never that scared during our first alien campaign. I just dove in and tried to overcome the shadow of Dad. I felt a lot of pain, and guilt, over Hawk and Blair, and Dallas, and the countless others; but I never felt scared.
Getting the letter from Mom didn't help. Sort of punched me in the stomach.
I could see her and could see the price of failure. For the first time I really felt the burden, you know?
Then I thought of you.
The price quadrupled, and the fear made me shake. I've been keeping it in, and even now am forced to type it rather than recognize it. It built up, and came out when it saw a way. That way just happened to be aimed in the wrong place.
I know it's okay to be scared, I can handle it, just not used to it yet.
It's not okay having you angry, and I'm sorry I was responsible for that.
Meet me for a drink?