
Guild Hierarchy
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UberCrid
SubCrids:
Cyons:
Dismal Legionnaire:
Hadribrain Collective
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Acolytes
First Brigand:
SubBrigands:
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SubLOAF:
SubTre:
Centaurians:
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Disgruntled Men:
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asTer0id Vinman^ Samcat Hellfire Cronoss |
Spacedust Maverick Greywolf Grimloc Akira |
Knight Meson Ladiesman Earthworm MNelson |
Fodder Iceheart Zer00 Filler WildWeasel |
Contact the Baron to join.
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Acolyte Cpl Hades |
Acolyte Cpl Hades
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Former Acolyte Midnight |
SubCrid TC |
From left to right: The Medal of a Picture of SkyLab, The Medal of a Picture of the Apollo 1 Mission Patch, The Medal of a Picture of Jennifer Love Hewitt & The Medal of a Pink Fish Clock that LOAF Has.
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Clorox.com Pepperidge Farm Goldfish Newt.org AHH |
Miller! Marsha Pr0N Two Headed Dog Pr0n DREX |
Read the FAQ.
Play the text-based alpha.
And coming soon: Pakistan Sucks 3D!
MarZBall is an exciting new computer game from Michael Medes and the team at Medes Systems, Inc.
Night of the 100 Trelanes
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To be worn on the right shoulder. |
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Officer's sword. |
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Standard issue knife. |
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Officer's cap. May be worn by anyone holding the rank of SubLOAF and above. Purchaseable here. |
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1) LOAF is America's greatest hero. 2) LOAF won the nobel prize for hat wearing in 1907. 3) LOAF is 50 percent water -- that's less water than you! 4) LOAF sees everything in terms of black & white & orange. 5) If LOAF were a flavor, the only flavor would be GRAPE! 6) LOAF smells like a highlighter pen... and is twice as handsome! 7) LOAF has caused more helicopter incidents than any other nation! 8) LOAF supports the Force Feedback movement! 9) LOAF once killed a hippie... and ate it. 10) If LOAF were a bag, he would be the bag you put Tasty-Cakes in. 11) LOAF knows more about seals than you. 12) LOAF's favorite flavor of gum is no gum at all! 13) LOAF keeps all his pencils sharpened... with the power of the lord! 14) LOAF loses 52 percent of his quality when encoded into realmedia formats! 15) LOAF has never made a viagra joke! 16) LOAF was once elected president of drainage ditch 145... by default. 17) LOAF killed himself a bear... when he was only three times its size. 18) LOAF can make liquid into balls... and balls into liquids. 19) LOAF is the worlds 177th highest source of good vibrations. 20) LOAF lost both his legs in Korea... and got them back in Viet-nam. 21) LOAF once wore a bandana... for six days. 22) LOAF hopes to order pizza over the internet. 23) LOAF often adds the letter 'i' or 'e' before things with no regard for common sense. |
Baron von LOAF am I, of proud descent;
True to the Merry Guild I remain until death.
A Guild Member am I, free and fearless.
To the Baron I have always given honour.
You, my God and Lord, are my shield, on You I rely.
On You I will build; never leave me,
So that I may remain pious, Your servant at all moments,
Dispelling the tyranny that wounds my heart.
Important facts about Nikolai Tesla, America's most dangerous super-criminal!
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Note that this information is currently not complete.
Political Branch The political wing is the first branch of LMG. It is headed by a single Chief Political Officer, the UberCrid (O2). The UberCrid is appointed by the Baron, and holds the power to veto any Guild action not effected by the Baron himself. The rank of UberCrid is equal in grade & pay to Acolyte and SubLOAF, although it carries a technical seniority over the other two. The UberCrid holds direct command over a cadre of four SubCrids (O1), who act as advisors. SubCrids are appointed by the Baron with the consent of the UberCrid, or vice versa. As a SubCrids are typically assigned to field operations, they are often utilized as advisors by the Baron himself. SubCrids are equal in grade and pay to Brigands and SubTre's, although the rank carries a technical seniority. Due to the importance of the rank, no SubCrid position may be left unfilled. (Note: in the event that the position of UberCrid is dissolved (see above) the four SubCrids will be promoted to O2 status and be awarded extra duties.) Also attached to the political wing are the newly formed enlisted position, Cyons (E3). All Cyons are promoted from promising candidates among the pool of existing Disgruntled Men. There may be no more than five Cyons at any one time, and all are appointed by existing SubCrids. An enlisted Guildsman must have reached the rank of Cyon before being considered for officer training. Military Branch A pair of Acolytes (O2) have direct command over the military branch of the Guild, which consists of highly trained Brigand officers and a cadre of enlisted Disgruntled Men. Although the term 'Acolyte' seems to connote a religious idea, none exists in actuality: the Acolytes are experienced military officers apointed to the position by the Baron. The two Acolytes are equal in seniority, and are expected to work both together and individually to present options to the Baron. The position is equal in grade and pay to SubCrid and SubLOAF, although it is the 'middle ground' of the three with regards to seniority. The Acolytes each command a group of five Brigands. The rank of Brigand (O2) is divided into two different positions: First Brigand and SubBrigand. The position of 'First Brigand' is honorary, and one holding said rank posseses no technical seniority over the other nine Brigands. The position is filled based In practice, the First Brigand is usually assigned higher level command duties as a result of his experience. Although all three branches gain officer candidates from the pool of Disgruntled Men (E1), it is the Military Branch which holds direct line of succession (and therefore direct command) over the DM. The Guild is planned for nominal operations with twenty DM slots, although more or less can exist depending on situational demands. Disgruntled Men are volunteers accepted from every walk of life -- any individual may be trained and put into service as a Disgruntled Man. Engineering Branch The Engineering Branch of the Guild is, according to official literature, responsible for "all Grand Works". It was with this in mind that the Baron created the position of SubLOAF (O2) and staffs it with only the very best officers. Although SubLOAF is, according to the chain of command, inferior to an UberCrid or an Acolyte it is the only position created for someone with broad and expansive knowledge. Those commanding and staffing the engineering branch must be 'jacks of all trades', capable of lending their skill and experience to combat and non-combat situations alike. The SubLOAF holds command over a group of five SubTres, named for the first (and to date) only SubLOAF. SubTre's are appointed only by the SubLOAF, and are to be decided upon based on their ability to replace the SubLOAF should the need arise. Only the most trusted, promising officers are made SubTre. The SubTre's collectively hold dominion over a group of Centaurians (E2), who are promoted from Disgruntled Men for their experience in 'behind the scenes'-type operations. Other Positions The rank, pay and purpose of other positions, such as the Dismal Legionnaire and the HadriBrain are classified. All operate outside the chain of command, reporting only to the Baron himself. |
LOAF, Owner
WildWeasel, General Manager
Hadrian, Cheerleader Captain
Fodder & Ladiesman, Superfans
MNelson, Concessions
The LMG web site was originally designed by Acolytes Hades and later butchered by Baron LOAF.