You know you're a privateer when...


I'll kick this thread off with a sample ;-)

1) You go into the police station after someone stole your bike and loudly proclaim "That bike cost me BLOOD SWEAT and's irreplacable. and you let some bozos walk off wid it? This is outrageous!"
3) You piss off two hulks at least 130kg each, and when being hit hard in the stomach, you cough: "Oooooh! This is not good!!!"
5) When someone appears intimidated or afraid of you, you tell them "Don't worry, I only kill for a fee."
Diss said:
3) You piss off two hulks at least 130kg each, and when being hit hard in the stomach, you cough: "Oooooh! This is not good!!!"

(And after bending like a reed: "I bow to your obvious skills..." :)
6) When you ask your vet why your cat keeps saying "Monkey boy, you make me laugh" and your vet refers you to a local psychologist
6.) When you get suspicious that Amish people are planning a violent uprising to overthrow technology.

(No disrespect meant to the Amish. I know a few of them, and they're great people, and boy do they know how to cook! Just take it with a sense of a humor and a grain of salt.)
8.) When you look at a transfer truck and think to yourself, "Good cargo space, and a reasonable price, but not enough gun or module mounts."

(Since I work at a warehouse and load transfer trucks every day, I have actually thought that before)
9) When you tell the officer "I thought I had to *maintain* speed and course for a contraband search" after he tickets you for blowing through a stopsign.
Ahhh, must have been a simultaneous post... looks like the Amish managed to get me there!!!! Okay, okay, it was post 7... I was just a tad too slow.
10) When your GPS gives you directions into the Ghetto and then gangstas carjack you and you claim "I'm just a tourist with a fragged nav console"
11.) it really is 11 this time. When you're in the grocery store and you have to squeeze past another shopper with your shopping cart, you find yourself saying, "Just a passing merchant, don't get jumpy!"
13) After getting into a fender bender you scream hopelessly "My poor ship! I'll have to sell it for scrap!"
14.) If, while playing basketball with your friends, you've ever trashed talked by saying, "You're a loose end looking to be tied!"
I would've just used that line when you're looking down at your untied shoelaces. "You're a loose end lookin' to be tied, pal." Then you tie your shoes.