Justified Cause Part Three...

Dralthi5

Spaceman
Another chapter in this light-hearted adventure o' mine. Read, and comment, if you do desire.
 

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Quarto

Unknown Enemy
Hmm, that reminds me, I still haven't read the first two chapters, even though they're sitting on my hard drive :(.
 

Viper61

Spaceman
Very nice, they just keep getting better.

Got a few comments, as always ;)

I was a little saddened that the Black Wasp version of the Wasp armed with the dust cannons didn't replace the WCP version. Personal preference :)

Casey talking about mission critical information over a "public" comm channel to his wife doesn't sit well with me. The Kilrathi could have intercepted this (no matter how improbable) and got the hell out of dodge. Plus, I don't think Confed would look kindly upon this practice at any time.

Just a note, Frieze is the CAG, but a Captain. The only CAG we see is a Commander (Drake), but his higher rank can be explained away as the Vesuvius-class carrying 4 wings to the Midway's roughly 2 and 1/2. More wings, more responsibility, higher rank?

A Bhantkara carrier is an even match for a Lexington-class carrier (a Concordia is a little lacking), but definitly not a Vesuvius.

IIRC, the Matterhorn is a relatively new carrier. A new carrier has a rattling lift? :)

Shroud was the name of the Excal partial cloak, apparentlyBlackfish is the full cloak on board the Dragon. This could be explained away that, in 15 odd years, Confed probably upgraded their cloak a bit and called it the Shroud II. Maybe?

A carrier as large as a Snakier probably has Prophecy-type phase shields (especially if the Fralthi from the last chapter had them). If this is the case, a Vampire from the Screaming Eagles wouldn't be able to do much to it, much less destroy it (unless they have a bomber loadout). You refer to the Eagles taking out the Carrier, what did you need the Shrikes for then?

Why are pilots in dark brown dress uniforms?

Nichols seemed to be on his way back to the Carrier in a fighter that a tight turn would have done in, what would Nichols have done in that situation where he would have panicked? That explaination seemed a little too convienent to me. Casey held his hand till he was outside the combat area, if anything a stray Kilrathi fighter did him in, not his inexperience.

Otherwise, no problems. This is a great chapter. Keep them coming :)

C-ya
 

Dralthi5

Spaceman
Casey talking about mission critical information over a "public" comm channel to his wife doesn't sit well with me. The Kilrathi could have intercepted this (no matter how improbable) and got the hell out of dodge. Plus, I don't think Confed would look kindly upon this practice at any time.

Yeah, I was thinking that, too, when I went over this last night...

A Bhantkara carrier is an even match for a Lexington-class carrier (a Concordia is a little lacking), but definitly not a Vesuvius.

Okay... check!

IIRC, the Matterhorn is a relatively new carrier. A new carrier has a rattling lift?

Yeah, well... okay... :)

Shroud was the name of the Excal partial cloak, apparentlyBlackfish is the full cloak on board the Dragon. This could be explained away that, in 15 odd years, Confed probably upgraded their cloak a bit and called it the Shroud II. Maybe?

Maybe. I was just going by what I remembered from WC3, but if there's another cloaking system, I'll use that when I go over the edits. This is why I always include an updated version of the previous chapter when I post the new one. So, if you're reading this, look for changes! :)

A carrier as large as a Snakier probably has Prophecy-type phase shields (especially if the Fralthi from the last chapter had them). If this is the case, a Vampire from the Screaming Eagles wouldn't be able to do much to it, much less destroy it (unless they have a bomber loadout). You refer to the Eagles taking out the Carrier, what did you need the Shrikes for then?

The Eagles are the Shrikes. I think you might be confused, because I said "Casey's own..." while Casey's in a Vampire. But all I meant by that was that the Eagles were in Casey's Wing.

Why are pilots in dark brown dress uniforms?

Why not? ;)

Nichols seemed to be on his way back to the Carrier in a fighter that a tight turn would have done in, what would Nichols have done in that situation where he would have panicked? That explaination seemed a little too convienent to me. Casey held his hand till he was outside the combat area, if anything a stray Kilrathi fighter did him in, not his inexperience.

Well, the way I was thinking, was that he needed to eject or something, but panicked and didn't.

Anyway, thanks for your comments. Always appreciated!
 

Mekt-Hakkikt

Mpanty's bane
I seem Major Campbell is as annoying as ever. :)

I only went quickly over it since I'm a bit stressed with exams but what I read was fine so far.

"Bleeding Fangs" sounds more like a Kilrathi Squadron name to me (IIRC, there's even one in the CCG) but no reason why a Tigershark squadron shouldn't bear such a name. BTW, out of curiosity, has a shark "teeth" or "fangs" in proper English?

Carry on.
 

SabreAce

Rear Admiral
Just read through Parts one and two last night, and part 3 a few minutes ago. All I have to say is: phenomenal.
 
"He had to protect not only his own sons, but the children of every man and women ..." *Sniff sniff* Phew! That reeks of typo! :)
"... but a few, like Maestro, stilled called ..." Ahem.
"... near where we last encountered that Cats ..." Dude, I'm almost hurt.
Isn't it supposed to be Bhantkara? I just ran into a couple of Bhanktara... ???
"Alpha Wing dodged the ack-ack ..." What you say !!
And, um, did you just imply that Pilums acquire lock? They never did that when I used them... Is this some new marvel of technology I've missed, or a minor blunder?
"... during the majority of the battled, still flourished." I'm starting to suspect something isn't quite right with your spellchecker.
Hm... Maybe it's just me, but doesn't Casey take Nickel's demise a little too hard? After Dallas, Hawk and Blair, I mean. Maybe that was quite a while ago...

It feels like this story is leaning a little much towards drama for my comfort, but it's not over the edge yet.
... Or was this the end?
 

Dralthi5

Spaceman
Muppet, what the hell are you talking about? Spellcheckers don't catch typos. I'll have to fix them myself when I next go through to edit. And why wouldn't there be drama? Do robotic characters appeal to you? And, no, this isn't the end. Only the beginning.

And thanks, SabreAce.
 
Dralthi5: Hm... I don't think we speak of the same drama here. No, robotic characters wouldn't hold much appeal, I just don't want another Karamazov-brothers. Gah... 839 pages of half-hysteric russians - WOOHOO...
Shouldn't spellcheckers catch 'every man and women'? 'the battled'? Well, I haven't written anything where a spellchecker has influence for a while, I might be wrong.
 

Dralthi5

Spaceman
Indeed you are wrong, but I'll forgive ya. :) Like I said, I'll fix those typos on my own, and thanks by the way for spotting them, because I certainly didn't.

And I don't think my characters are in hysterics yet, nor will they be.
 
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