Actually got to read this one pretty early. I liked seeing all the old crew, though all of the meetings stuffed into one chapter seemed kindof odd. All we need now is Grayson Burrows to show up (please don't tell me he's the captured Orion pilot).
I had very few problems with this chapter. Besides some grammar mistakes (which I'm just going to leave to someone else to point out), here are my catches.
There are very few TC veterans left to regail their exploits with Casey about flying Dralthi (and IIRC, none are left alive that actually flew them in games/novel).
Note: Loved the Dr. Monkhouse reference, though he must be getting up there in years.
Nuke'ems in the WCU are in Privateer 2, which is set some 100 years in the future. They weren't bombs perse, but they emitted a blast wave that warped your ship ahead in time to avoid the blast. I guess these could be their forbearers.
The Orions got some thick shields, but yet a single laser battery hit licks the armor? Could be explained that these Nuke'ems act like Maces (which might not be a half bad substitute) and weaken even the launching fighters shields when detonated (though he would need some thick shielding to protect him where a Vampires failed).
Confed are the good guys but they are gonna resort to torture to get info? This apparently isn't the kindler, gentler Confed
The nervous breakdown you describe is Maniacs second one, his first would be during Operation Thor's Hammer
Maniac also missed a rank on his way to General. Lt. Colonel comes between Major (what he was on the Midway) and Colonel.
Ugh, damn long hair hanging in my face and getting in my mouth. Anyway...
Yeah, I know about the Privateer 2 Nuke'ems (which I thoroughly overused and accidently killed Shiela Nabokov [sp?] with). I just liked the name, so I stole it.
Oops, I meant to include a blurb about the Orion not having any shields, which allowed it to fit in a cloaking device and more of those nukes. Oh, well... I'll get it next time. But I actually forgot about the Maces. That would be a good substitute.
"As he sat as his desk" All God's chillun must have T.
Hm, they only managed to build one Neph-ship and put a plasma cannon in it? Isn't such a ship more commonly known as a Kraken (or was it Orca)? It sounds as if you're implying the other classes had one themselves...
Oh, you meant FIGHTER, not cap-ship. Exsqueeze me. Not one of the big guns, right-o.
"Casey's eyes shown ..." *Prod* Shone. And 'Finely' right next to it. Hehe!
"... about the peak a towering mountain ..." The coalition of Of probably wouldn't take kindly to that.
"That doesn't mean if I have to like him" Personally, I think it's one if too many here.
Phew. That's it for now. And still no hysteric russians. So far, so good.
*Sues Dralthi5 for uploading his story in a format that makes OpenOffice fire up, taking half a decade to load*
Again a bit late but again I don't have much to contribute besides: "I like it."
I was a bit surprised about how a lone Orion would dare to attack a highly secret Confed base, even with Nuke'ems and only backup 3 Talons? It's always a strange mix between very high and rather low tech with TLF. Ok if they knew that the base was only lightly defended or had only 1 cloaking device, it makes more sense.
And maybe I didn't fully understand: did Maestro's flight intercept that small strike force by chance that attacked the base?
A bit odd that the station didn't open fire by itself and waited for Casey to tell them.
I didn't know you can let a FoF detonate at will...
Gee, they're harsh with Maniac - well ok, if you actually have to live with him and not only see him as a comic relief in a game he's probably not very likeable.
I like the Killer-bunny reference and Maestro's last phrase.
I neither see something really wrong or unplausible in it since it was possible fot the Star-/Coneburst and Mace in WC4. But it's never been an option in the WC games to let an FoF detonate at will nor is there anything written about it IIRC (been some time since I read the novels).
Well and Dralthi already pointed out that it wasn't what he wanted to say, so anyway.