Jokes

Discussion in 'Off-topic Zone' started by Ripper, Dec 21, 2002.

Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.
  1. LeHah 212 Squadron, "The Old Man's Eyes And Ears"

    Message Count:
    7,635
    Likes Received:
    8
    Trophy Points:
    59,385
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Blackmane System
    I spotted ignorance instead of sarcasm; we tend to get the two confused on this board easily: Some think they have the ability to say something funny and the others are sarcastic.
  2. WildWeasel Spaceman

    Message Count:
    2,442
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    I printed this thread out and burned it. Sadly, it wasn't as satisfying as I was hoping.
  3. Quarto Unknown Enemy

    Message Count:
    11,126
    Likes Received:
    25
    Trophy Points:
    69,385
    Location:
    Poland
    Mmm, I have a bad feeling about this.
  4. LeHah 212 Squadron, "The Old Man's Eyes And Ears"

    Message Count:
    7,635
    Likes Received:
    8
    Trophy Points:
    59,385
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Blackmane System
    Is it ever? Time to kick back with a 6-pack of Bass.

    Happy Holidays, you wascally Weasel and the rest of the CZ.
  5. WildWeasel Spaceman

    Message Count:
    2,442
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
  6. Preacher Swabbie
    Banned

    Message Count:
    2,062
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    "The 'Cuse", NY
    "Bass ale; the world's first lager with the great taste of fish!..."

    (apologies to Monty Python)
  7. Ripper Peace Through Superior Firepower

    Message Count:
    2,146
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    50
    You guys are hilarious. I especially liked the one about burning this thread.:D

    Anyway, why do sailors use powdered soap in the shower aboard ship?


    Cause it takes longer to pick it up after they drop it.:D
  8. TopGun Vampire Ace

    Message Count:
    3,433
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36,885
    Location:
    Portsmouth, UK
    Here's a Star Trek Joke?

    Q: How Many TOS Red Shirts does it take to change a Light Bulb.
    A: None, they all get killed 5 seconds after beaming down
  9. Ripper Peace Through Superior Firepower

    Message Count:
    2,146
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    50
    If nothing sticks to Teflon, how does Teflon stick to the pan?
  10. Preacher Swabbie
    Banned

    Message Count:
    2,062
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    "The 'Cuse", NY
    ...and if the black box always survives the crash, why don't they build the entire PLANE out of this material?, etc., etc., etc......
  11. T8H3X11 Spaceman

    Message Count:
    493
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Pittsburgh, PA
    There were two blondes standing on opposite sides. The one yelled over to the other, "How do I get over ther?" The other replied, What are you talking about, you are over there."
  12. Starkey Avenging Rooster

    Message Count:
    2,148
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36,885
    Location:
    Belo Horizonte, Brazil
    The Lone Ranger and Tonto are camping in the desert, set up their tent, and are asleep. Some hours later, the Lone Ranger wakes his faithful friend.

    "Tonto, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

    Tonto replies, "Me see millions of stars."

    "What does that tell you?" asked the Lone Ranger.

    Tonto ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Kemo Sabi?"

    The Lone Ranger is silent for a moment, then speaks.

    "Tonto, you dumb ass, someone has stolen our tent."
  13. Lynx Spaceman

    Message Count:
    1,323
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Austria. Not Australia.
    Another Star Trek joke:

    What is the oldest object in the solar system? William Shatner
  14. Ripper Peace Through Superior Firepower

    Message Count:
    2,146
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    50
    Why do we drive on the parkway, and park on the driveway?

    (Apologies to folks from crappy little countries that restrict property rights and freedom of movement.)
  15. Ripper Peace Through Superior Firepower

    Message Count:
    2,146
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    50
    What's the first thing you know?


















    Ol' Jed's a millionaire!!!:D :D
  16. LeHah 212 Squadron, "The Old Man's Eyes And Ears"

    Message Count:
    7,635
    Likes Received:
    8
    Trophy Points:
    59,385
    Gender:
    Male
    Location:
    Blackmane System
    It's first melted and then applied to the surface of the pan.
  17. Ripper Peace Through Superior Firepower

    Message Count:
    2,146
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    50
    Why did the chicken cross the road?





    To show the armadillo that it could be done!:D
  18. T8H3X11 Spaceman

    Message Count:
    493
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    0
    Location:
    Pittsburgh, PA
    It would make the plane to heavy.
  19. TC SubCrid

    Message Count:
    6,121
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    1,360
    Location:
    Vancouver, B.C., Canada
    Also, the black box doesn't always survive a crash.
  20. TopGun Vampire Ace

    Message Count:
    3,433
    Likes Received:
    0
    Trophy Points:
    36,885
    Location:
    Portsmouth, UK
    Star Wars Joke:

    Q: What's do you get if you Cross Colonel Sanders and The Galatic Empire?
















    A: A Kentucky Fried Chicken Walker
Thread Status:
Not open for further replies.

Share This Page