Jokes

Discussion in 'Off-topic Zone' started by Ripper, Dec 21, 2002.

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  1. LeHah 212 Squadron, "The Old Man's Eyes And Ears"

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    I spotted ignorance instead of sarcasm; we tend to get the two confused on this board easily: Some think they have the ability to say something funny and the others are sarcastic.
    LeHah, Dec 25, 2002
    #21

  2. WildWeasel Spaceman

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    I printed this thread out and burned it. Sadly, it wasn't as satisfying as I was hoping.
    WildWeasel, Dec 25, 2002
    #22

  3. Quarto Unknown Enemy

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    Mmm, I have a bad feeling about this.
    Quarto, Dec 25, 2002
    #23

  4. LeHah 212 Squadron, "The Old Man's Eyes And Ears"

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    Is it ever? Time to kick back with a 6-pack of Bass.

    Happy Holidays, you wascally Weasel and the rest of the CZ.
    LeHah, Dec 25, 2002
    #24

  5. WildWeasel Spaceman

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    Indeed!
    WildWeasel, Dec 25, 2002
    #25

  6. Preacher Swabbie
    Banned

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    "Bass ale; the world's first lager with the great taste of fish!..."

    (apologies to Monty Python)
    Preacher, Dec 26, 2002
    #26

  7. Ripper Peace Through Superior Firepower

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    You guys are hilarious. I especially liked the one about burning this thread.:D

    Anyway, why do sailors use powdered soap in the shower aboard ship?


    Cause it takes longer to pick it up after they drop it.:D
    Ripper, Dec 30, 2002
    #27

  8. TopGun Vampire Ace

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    Here's a Star Trek Joke?

    Q: How Many TOS Red Shirts does it take to change a Light Bulb.
    A: None, they all get killed 5 seconds after beaming down
    TopGun, Jan 3, 2003
    #28

  9. Ripper Peace Through Superior Firepower

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    If nothing sticks to Teflon, how does Teflon stick to the pan?
    Ripper, Jan 3, 2003
    #29

  10. Preacher Swabbie
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    ...and if the black box always survives the crash, why don't they build the entire PLANE out of this material?, etc., etc., etc......
    Preacher, Jan 3, 2003
    #30

  11. T8H3X11 Spaceman

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    There were two blondes standing on opposite sides. The one yelled over to the other, "How do I get over ther?" The other replied, What are you talking about, you are over there."
    T8H3X11, Jan 3, 2003
    #31

  12. Starkey Avenging Rooster

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    The Lone Ranger and Tonto are camping in the desert, set up their tent, and are asleep. Some hours later, the Lone Ranger wakes his faithful friend.

    "Tonto, look up at the sky and tell me what you see."

    Tonto replies, "Me see millions of stars."

    "What does that tell you?" asked the Lone Ranger.

    Tonto ponders for a minute. "Astronomically speaking, it tells me that there are millions of galaxies and potentially billions of planets. Astrologically, it tells me that Saturn is in Leo. Time wise, it appears to be approximately a quarter past three. Theologically, it's evident the Lord is all powerful and we are small and insignificant. Meteorologically, it seems we will have a beautiful day tomorrow. What does it tell you, Kemo Sabi?"

    The Lone Ranger is silent for a moment, then speaks.

    "Tonto, you dumb ass, someone has stolen our tent."
    Starkey, Jan 3, 2003
    #32

  13. Lynx Spaceman

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    Another Star Trek joke:

    What is the oldest object in the solar system? William Shatner
    Lynx, Jan 3, 2003
    #33

  14. Ripper Peace Through Superior Firepower

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    Why do we drive on the parkway, and park on the driveway?

    (Apologies to folks from crappy little countries that restrict property rights and freedom of movement.)
    Ripper, Jan 8, 2003
    #34

  15. Ripper Peace Through Superior Firepower

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    What's the first thing you know?


















    Ol' Jed's a millionaire!!!:D :D
    Ripper, Jan 15, 2003
    #35

  16. LeHah 212 Squadron, "The Old Man's Eyes And Ears"

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    It's first melted and then applied to the surface of the pan.
    LeHah, Jan 15, 2003
    #36

  17. Ripper Peace Through Superior Firepower

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    Why did the chicken cross the road?





    To show the armadillo that it could be done!:D
    Ripper, Jan 19, 2003
    #37

  18. T8H3X11 Spaceman

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    It would make the plane to heavy.
    T8H3X11, Jan 20, 2003
    #38

  19. TC SubCrid

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    Also, the black box doesn't always survive a crash.
    TC, Jan 20, 2003
    #39

  20. TopGun Vampire Ace

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    Star Wars Joke:

    Q: What's do you get if you Cross Colonel Sanders and The Galatic Empire?
















    A: A Kentucky Fried Chicken Walker
    TopGun, Jan 20, 2003
    #40
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